Is it bad that I like being a mistress? Is it bad that I don't want to stop? Is it bad that I thought things would end this way? I don't want to stop seeing him. Yes, of course I want him to myself. But I pretend that in my head. He is to myself. I'm not sure what is going through my head anymore. I just know that I've enjoyed seeing him everyday. That I can't help but miss him unless I do see him everyday. That he plays piano. Those hands. Those fingers. I think that this is normal. I tell myself this is normal. Why can't I be his? I am starting to feel things like inadequancy? I shouldn't feel that way. I still like him...a lot. I must think good thoughts. I am an optimist. Hahaha...that is a lie!

I am still a punk. I am still a pirate. Yarr! My hair is red and I am happy. My good thoughts. I like hats. I want to eat Indian food in Quincy Market again. Yum!! 
¶ 7:56 AM |