The Hipster Brigade
Wow, an eternity has gone by and I haven't even thought of blogging. I have literally no time. I shouldn't be doing it right now. I have one more fucking essay. Just one. This huge research paper. Yadda yadda yadda. No one cares. Whoa, I'm just glad that I got through with the sociology class. My teacher was nice to do.
Word to the wise: Procrastination is not your friend! Neither are early mornings.
Alright, so I have this one last essay for my Essay writing class then I am all done. Yes, done done. Well, almost except I have this fiction story to turn in on the May 7th, but compared to the essay it's like nothing. I have so much to do. I am working a lot this week which is good. I need the money over the break. Blarg! But it will be ok, it will be ok as long as I don't have to go back to Texas.
I'm doing a pretty good job of scaring every boy away that I know. They all hate me. Why? I don't know. Curse my aggressiveness. Curse my forwardness. Damn...I want him so badly. Why am I such a dork?
I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend. I do. I do. I do. Blah, blah, blah!!!
Now that that's out of the 'ole system we can get to real writing and wonder. Does anyone read this piece of crap? Come on guestbook it and let me know. I won't be around for too much longer. I mean the last entry will be May 20th. The countdown shall begin soon. I am almost done with school. I need to do like a bazillion papers this weekend. Yummee. Let me tell you mister. I am hating school. Working. Sleeping. Basically, sleep has become some weird escape. Not like resting at all, but some like place to turn to when I am all mopey and can't take it anymore. I just curl up and zonk out. I hate that. Sleeping is not nice, the only reason I do sleep is so I don't fall asleep in class. Why must we sleep? I hate it. I hate it so. I mean I do like it, but I haven't had good sleep in a long time. Sorta like I haven't had good Indian food in a long time. Damn, I need good Indian and now. I need to save my money but I would so splurge on that awesome restaurant in Harvard Square. I must stay away from all record stores though. Diana + used cds = bad, very bad...and poor. I want some more Deathray Davies CDs. I do. I really really do. Good dancable cutesy indie pop is hard to find. I will say it once, and I'll say it again. Get off your ass and listen to some Beulah. NOW YOU FOOLS!
Alright, I feel a little better now. I think I need to pee, but I can't tell. Why did I write that down?
Today's occupation: Writer
Tomorrow's occupation: Murderer to self
The Next Day: Fuck, I'm dead.
Monday's Occupation: I need to go to class, so fake unhappy student.
Tuesday's Occupation: Oral Presenter and dancer of the Ska
Wednesday Occupation: Party Planner (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY! I LOVE YOU!) and WOOHOO no more real work. I rule, I rock, I rule, I rock.
Yes, I sorta did this already, but I'm bored. Deal with it. It's sorta different.
have you EVER...
01. fallen for your best friend?: no
02. made out w/ JUST a friend?: yes
03. been rejected?: yes
04. been in love?: yes
05. been in lust?: hell yah
06. used someone?: unfortunately I think I have
07. been used?: probably...I think yes.
08. cheated on someone?: Yes in 8th grade.
09. been cheated on?: I don't think so.
10. been kissed?: YES!
11. done something you regret?: I never regret. You only live once.
who was the last person...
12. you touched? kate
13. you talked to? that girl in the elevator
14. you hugged? Derek
15. you instant messaged? Jen
16. you kissed? That Boy
17. you had sex with? hmm...what kind of sex?
18. you yelled at? Mom?
19. you laughed with? Kate and UWN
20. you had a crush on? Derek
21. who broke your heart? That Boy
22. colour your hair? sometimes
23. have tattoos? I want star tattoos on various parts of my body, but not tattoos as of now.
24. piercings? not even my ears.
25. have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? I wish. Boyfriend. Derek. I hope so.
26. floss daily? No. I should though.
27. own a webcam? I want one.
28. ever get off the damn computer? what? off...what's that?
29. sprechen sie deutsche? Ooo, German. Just a little.
30. hablas espanol? NO.
31. quack? hmm...on occasion. When those duck tours go by.
About 20 years ago... I was being born. No, I was some amount of days old.
About 10 years ago... I was in 4th grade at Londonderry.
About 5 years ago... I was a snotty know it all freshman in high school. I was mean and depressed and loved Smashing Pumpkins. Some things never change though.
About 3 years ago... I was 17. I was a Junior in high school. That was a great year.
About 1 year ago... I was working at the library. No, yah I was.
Today ... was shitty. It got progressively better though.
- hair: dyed black
- height: 5'1"
- weight: 120?
- physique: skinny, just right.
- clothing: punk/preppy/grundge
- music: ska, punk, alternative, indie
- body art: scar on left leg, doodles on both hands
- wearing: plaid pants, white "boring" socks, black shirt with Emily wannabe girl on it
- music: NOTHING...scary. *shudders* the rain
- thinking of: Derek...and that stupid NY Fashion presentation
- feeling: eh.
LAST THING YOU...
- bought: Chex Mix
- did: wrote the answer to the questions above
- read: How to Be Good by Nick Hornby
EITHER / OR
- club or houseparty: houseparty
- tea or coffee: tea
- high achiever or easy-going: easy-going high achiever...hahaha
- cats or dogs: cats
- single or taken: so so single
- pen or pencil: pen
- gloves or mittens: gloves
- food or candy: food
- cassette or cd: CD
- coke or pepsi: coke
- matches or a lighter: matches
- sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: PASSIONS
- rickie lake or oprah winfrey: oprah
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: my sociology teacher
- hear from: Chase
-look like: no one, myself please.
- be like: cool and collected
- food: potatoes, mashed
- drink: ice tea
- color: blue
- album: Hmmm...Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
- shoes: black converse
- site: www.ihavenofuckingclue.com
- song: If we can land a man on the moon, then surely i can win your heart - Beulah
- vegetable: POTATOES!!
- fruit: grapes, kiwi, apples
- last movie you saw: Y Tu Mama Tambien
- Last movie you saw on the big screen: Y Tu Mama Tambien
- last phone number you called: Kate's and Meg's dorm room
- last thing you had to drink: Orange Juice
- last thing you ate: pizza and cucumber salad and cheese cake
- last time you showered: this morning
- last time you cried: I can't remember.
- last time you smiled: Just a little bit ago. I always smile.
- last thing you said: Talk to you later.
- last thing you smelled: Sprite
- smoke: no
- sleep with stuffed animals: I did back home. Billy Bunny. I miss him so.
- have a dream that keeps coming back: no
- play an instrument: piano...kazoo
- believe there is life on other planets: maybe.
- read the newspaper: the "today" section
- have any gay or lesbian friends: YES. haha
- believe in miracles: yes, definately.
- believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: yes
- consider yourself tolerant of others: sometimes.
- consider police a friend or foe: friend...mostly.
- like the taste of alcohol: not beer, but I'm not 21 yet.
- believe in astrology: yes
- believe in magic: yes
- pray: no
- have any secrets: some, but not many.
- have any pets: not in the dorm but back home...2 kitties and a doggie woggie
- go to or plan to go to college: Ha...I'm here finally.
- have a degree: YES.
- talk to strangers who instant message you: Yes, too many times I do. Mostly I do the messaging.
- wear hats: yah...wool hats for winter time.
- hate yourself: nope
- have a "hot spot": what?
- wish on stars: definately.
- like your handwriting: YES.
- believe in witches: yes
- believe in Satan: hmm
- believe in ghosts: YES
- trust others easily: yes
- like sarcasm: definately.
- take walks in the rain: I want to do it now. It's raining now and it's pretty.
- kiss with your eyes closed: yes, but I open sometimes.
- sing in the shower: sometimes
Basically, you could say that I am ripe with fury right now. I mean alright I hate my Tuesday/Thursday classes. Maybe hate is a strong word, but I mean I am fucking pissed. First off, in fiction class...no, wait let me set up the whole story. So this boy that it's my class leaves in my dorm too, so he asked to borrow the stories because he's an idiot and didn't pick them up himself. Duh! Alright, so he gives them back to me in class...and on the top of one it says edited by Tom blah blah blah because of lack of total and utter incompetence. What the fuck? I mean I didn't find anything wrong with the story so I didn't really comment all over the sucker. I put what I like. Plus, he has no write to comment on that. Another one I made a comment about how I got a song stuck in my head cause he said something about how an airbag saved his life, which reminded me of that Radiohead song off of Ok Computer. He made some shitty comment about how I should pay more attention to the story. What the fuck? I was and he has no write to comment on my comments. He should have gotten his own copies. What a complete shithead. I start to wonder why I am at this school more and more each day. I mean I love some of my classes but others just everyone sucks so much that it doesn't even make sense to be here. GAH! So anyways, in my next class someone decides let's blurt out our little problem we have with the professor in the middle of class. What a stupid idea. Bring that to her in private. I mean write her a letter. I mean she was so upset. It made me so uncomfortable. I mean yes, it was a relevent question but I mean who the fuck gives right now. Maybe you should have dropped the class a long time ago bitches. God, it was awful.
On a good note, I couldn't sleep last night because Derek and I had such a great conversation. Why are all these weird things happening all at once? I am so confused. I hate prentious fucks that think they know everything. I mean have some fucking morals morons. I hate that. I mean what exactly is your problem? Sorry, that isn't directed towards anyone but those two bitches that sit behind me in my sociology class. I hope they can't graduate. I already know they are too immature to hold real jobs anyway. They are seniors and they suck. Sorry this is way immature I am just so shaken today. I don't know what to do. I am taking a nap. Hibernation away from all the bad things. NIGHT!
Remember, when all I wanted was a studded belt and I thought that would give me some sort of destination in life. Make me understand punk or something, that's pretty sad isn't it. I am not like that. I am shallow sometimes cause I get caught up in the culture around me, and I have preconcieved notions of what I would like to be and what I think is cool. Which I guess, is true about everyone, but I do end up realizing what I want and who I am almost when it's too late. Once again, I would like to say thank you to my friends, because without them I would not have survived this year. Yes, sometimes I am struck dumb over the next pretty boy that comes my way. This year has been one of the most emotional years in a long long time. I fell in love and discovered what that meant. I can honestly say that it was love. I don't know if it was full blown I will never leave you love, but it was something so strong that it was undeniably something more than like. Does that even make sense? This year has had it's ups and downs (when I say year I mean school year) but it's had it's way up highs. I can't even describe some of the most fantastic things that have happened to me. I mean I have met some of the most amazing people ever. Sometimes I am so scared that I need to change myself. I don't know why I get like this, why I think I am stupid when I know I am not. I mean, I got into Emerson and I got good grades, but I guess intelligence can't really be based on that. It's just sometimes my interests are spured by others. Yes, maybe I do want to follow the crowd and read books by authors because on saw it on some site. That's pretty lame, but I have to say that I dont' know most authors I should know. What should I know? I just want to know so that I can fit in with the pretentious crowd, yet again trying to clump myself into some catergory. Why do I keep doing this over and over again? So what if I can't hold my own in an arguement. I don't like arguing because that's all I do at home is argue. I want school to be more than a debate. I want it to be me learning something about life and love and sex and heat and passion and writing, because in the end I will need all those experiences in order to be a better writer. I need LIFE experience in order to write. I don't need fancy words but I do need nice dialogue, I mean in the end all those intelligent things that I deem so intelligent will just help write a better more well-rounded indie boy character in my story. Now there's a thought! (insert lightbulb here). Yes, there are gaps in my education. I regret those...wait, I don't regret. You should never regret, because you never know when life will end and you will regret those experiences that you ended not acting upon. You should always do those things that give you an itch. Even if it's buying converse because they are "so" punk. I like my shoes goddamit. Sometimes stereotypes blow. I am happy even if I am a lie. I am happy making choices even if they are biased. No one can stop me, because I need to learn on my own what it good for me and what is not. One day I will learn my limits and stop. Because one of the worst states to see Diana in is depression. Who wants to be around sad and mopey and whiny people. Well, I've been writing for way too long. I need to go do actual work. I just got inspired like I often do.
Listen to PENNYWISE!
Hmm, I do use that word often. I'm starting to be on the crunch time count down clock. Life is hectic. My body is going out of control. Stress has become my constant buddy. My other constant buddy is one of those angels that sits on your shoulder - you know the angel and the devil one - well, mine is the devil. "Hey, Diana. Hmm, he looks nice doesn't he? You should have a go with that one." "Oh, look he's indie. Isn't he yummy? Go, go, go." Fuck you hormones. Maybe I don't feel like making out every two seconds. Let's just say that I acted on a spring fling yesterday. I'm not sure why. I guess because the other party was consenting. God, I don't know. It was different this time. It was such a different feeling than before. It was nice. I enjoyed it. I don't know. I did sorta think about Derek a few times for which I feel bad. I really really really really like him. He's cute. Redheaded. GOD, I am not intelligent enough for him. He would be so bored with me. Why is this? I am just too young. I don't know what to do. This summer I am gonna go out and immerse (way sp) myself in some sort of intellectual cultures. I wonder if I can find someone that is in Mesa. You know that super intellectual group of people. I could become friends and they could teach me what they know. Give me suggestions on books though I guess that a certain pretentious hippie boy could do that as welll. I need to read so many books and poetry to get caught up here. Why am I so screwed? I am going to get a vocab book and teach myself some new language. I am such a simpleton. Sorry...I just feel dumb sometimes. I'm not sure why I do now. I need to go and work on this debate. I am so screwed. I don't feel like doing work. I hate my life.
No, that was a lie. I love life! I am an awesome person and ignore this post above. Everyone has problems because I can honestly say that I am a happy and lucky individual. I will speak to you later. Bye!
Alright, I caved in. I danced with hippies. I took the colorgenics test. Big whooptie doo. So here it is:
You don't need anxiety and problems. All you really seek is a conflict free environment which can offer peace and mental security. You don't like the idea of being alone and, whatever the reason, at this time of your life you feel as if you are being 'left out'. What you really need is perhaps some 'tender loving care'.
You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.
In spite of the fact that you believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, it is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influenceand there is no-one to turn to or rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.
It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.
You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.
Why is always right? Why? Why? Why? Only once has it failed and I think it's because I didn't go with the inner color choosing. It's a slow process but makes for accurate results. I sound like a psychic. Laters.
Right no zine for me. :-( I need to get my act together. Ha, I posted yesterday and I forgot about it. Soon I will be going home and not be able to post and bug you nerds everyday. That is way sad. I hate home. I don't have much time. I am going to go to an open mic on Tuesday. The Prom Open Mike. I get to wear a pretty dress that I have to buy. I dont' really have a ton of time to be writing in here. It's April Preview at Emerson and it's wicked cute and annoying all at once. Sorta like most rodents. Hey, can you oil that wheel or what? So anyways, all these cute little high schoolers and maybe wannabe Emersonians. It's adorable. When I see them, I'm like awww how cute. I used to be like you. I was way uncooler than you are. I am still uncool. Where did you go to school? Haha, the school of cool. Alright, I'm gonna shut up I don't know where all this insanity is coming from. I must leave to do desk sitting duties. Work calls.
Hmm, I want my indie boy. NOW!
Well, my cute little blogger experiment worked. I am so happy it did. I want to do more posts of it's kind. I have no idea why I wrote that down. Anyways...last night was amazing. I would say that last night was one of the most amazing nights of my college existance. It was a GREAT night because I went out on a limb and just did something. I just did it because...fuck...I deserve a break and sometimes you just need to react and stop worrying. You need to stop being a geek and get off your ass and go do something fun. I'm glad I did, cause I haven't had fun for quite a long time.
So last night, I was quite in the H zone. I mean way way way deep into it. I was IMing guys in Boston asking them if perhaps they wanted to make out. I even IMed That Boy, but I chickened out and asked him a whole other question. That is besides the point. Well, there is this cutie indie boy Derek that I have been talking and flirting with online. I don't know, he thinks he is this geeky guy when in fact he is so awesome. He invited me to a show last night. I was sorta surprised he did. It was an awesome indie show at the Middle East. That is so easy to go to, I should have really gone to see Death Cab for Cutie. They are that amazing. I mean, grrr...talk about false location advertising on their site. So, I go and he's like I'll be the tall red head. See, I was expecting this mega geeky guy. He is so indie. I was way surprised. He knew it was me, I explained myself pretty well. He is so amazingly cute. Grr, so my type. So the boy of my dreams. So...er...INDIE. I hate that word cause it doesn't define a damn thing but still. He was tall and skinny and amazing. Hahaha, his red hair wasn't at red as Steve's. I found a cuter version of him. Hahahaha, I found a way hotter Steve. You know what is so funny is that Meg asked if I still had the hots for him. I said, "Yah, I would go out with him. But I'm not really sure if I "dig" him like that anymore." I don't know. I say that a lot.
Grrr, so the show was amazing. I really liked it. During the breaks inbetween we would chat. Hahaha, I said that I was a bit distracted during the second band because I wanted to touch him. I just wanted to fingers on his arm. Something casual and subtle. I can never tell if guys like me, but during the last band I was so more playful with him and we held hands. We fucking held hands. It was amazing. We walked around Central Square, left early and held hands. We held hands in the Commonl. He walked me home. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!! I couldn't sleep it was that good. I mean I haven't been out with anyone...well with the exception of That Boy, but let's forget about him right now please...that made me feel like this. I mean someone that I literally thought was my type. He even told me he is not into hugs and he gave me one. He is so polite. He's 24 too. So that's cool. He also wanted to be a writer. He called my grinning cute. I don't know. I am just so attracted to him. I think he is amazingly beautiful. I want to see him again. SOON. I don't care, even if it's just to sit and go through garbage or while he checks his classes chem. problems. I just thought it was amazing. He knew how to act, possibly due to the fact that he's 24 and not 18. He was polite and I was amazed. I can't help but keep saying that. I need to get working right now.
I wonder how this is going to work out. This is a cute little blogger post thing. I have never done this before. This is pretty darn exciting if you ask me. I know that no one reads this blog. I pretty much do it for myself. I wish someone would read it. Please, someone read this. Oh, come the fuck on. Read my blog.
Alright, I just wanted to try this out. I am tired. New Shawn might come for a visit tomorrow. I will see. I will fill you in my dear dear blogger pals.
I'm looking for new titles for my website. Can you find the real me? Please I need a lot of help. ...with a title. Please. Leave title names in the guestbook. I'll give you a link if you want if I pick the name. Please. I am so bored with this. HELP! Also, anyone interested in writing for my zine. I will need the article super fast. By Wednesday...at the latest. Alright, I am dying. Laters.
Alirighty, spaghetti made my life a whole lot better. Sometimes all it takes is some good Dallas pop band - Deathray Davies - a copy machine, and some cheap Italian food. I am so much better now. I took a shower too which also helped. Plus, new Shawn was online, which also made me happy. He is the epitome of all things I love about boys. Alright, he's the ideal mate. Possibly. We'll see how cute his hair is in person. I like boys with freckles. I want you guys to get to know the real me. I'm gonna change my Blog name back, it just sucks. I need to go to a meeting across campus.
I hate when you start feeling so shitty that you go back to sleep instead of staying awake when you were pefectlly fine staying awake, but instead crawl back inbetween the sheets and realize that you have to much work to do that you are going to slowly begin to slaughter everything that gets in your way even your best friends. I can't believe this. I hate my mother, I don't hate her I just have a great problem with her right now. I didn't want to talk to her. She is bothering the shit out of me. I just want to sit back and not have to worry about anything. All my entires lately have been so boring and blah. I don't know. Yes, I've been talking about guys way too often in here. Most of this is just going to be rambling. Oh well, get used to it sucker. Have you noticed I've picked up this cynical bitter tone lately. I am just mad angy bitter at the world right now. Why isn't anything going my way. I hate this. I'm going to have to be up all night doing things for my paper. I refuse to be writing this on Thursday night. I will pace myself. Shit, I just remembered I needed to email my classmates. Shit. SHIT!! shit. shit. shit. shit. shit. I should have done that on Thursday. Damn you. Arg. Sorry, I am so irresponsible. I can't even have friends. I should just grow mold and lock myself in the 10th floor fridge where I can be thrown away and contained of properly. What is wrong with me? I think that if I don't get any boy action soon I'm going to go fucking insane. I need to get this done today:
1) Financial Aid
2) Email classmates
3) Peer Reviews
4) Writers Block Meeting at 8
5) Paper on Ingrid Newkirk
6) Watch James Bond Movie
7) Slit wrists
Possibly, not all in that order. ARG! I need a quick diagnosis! Please I'm willing to take anyone. I changed the name of my blog. Indie Boys I'm waiting. I will cut my hair, change the style of music I listen to or at least give yours a try, and be cute and stylish for you. Alright, I will try to be these things. All I ask for in return is a few bites on the neck and a flower. And some post-its. I know you can afford you it you rock snobs. See look at me now I'm starting to insult the boys that I want.
I'm sorry bad day. I'm going to go away and try to think more positively. I think I should listen to the Deathray Davies. They are happy. I'm sorry that this post had to happen this way. Bad Diana, Bad!!! *scolds self*
Old Aim Profile:
About Me ~click here~
Skanking rebel renagades of emerson *SRRE*
"There's something really sexy about sad." ~Ryan Adams
"Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave"
it's like "yeah i don't think you're coming outta your little frock there enough, maybe you should jump around just a little more" ~ Jen on Kylie Minogue
Alright update: We (Kate, Laura, and I) played out in the park in the sun. We got those velcro paddle ball things and a jump rope. I love jump roping. I am too tired to write in this now. I will write something super wicked tomorrow. I'm sorry. NIGHT. Tonight movie: Y Tu Mama Tambien.
Listen to: Plastilina Mosh
There has definately been a resurgence (sp) on my play list of the past. Either in the decade or just music I used to love. I found my favorite my Duran Duran
song yester. "White Lines" it's off their covers album, Thank You. It's such an awesome song. However, in the seach of that song I downloaded a bunch of other Duran Duran songs I love. They are the best. *sighs*
Ok, these past couple of weeks have been way strange. I've been on the phone a lot this week. I mean maybe I'm not being the most honest person, but I'm not exactly ashamed of what I'm doing. Wait, I'm making it sound like I'm some kind of swindler. I'm not. I'm just realizing what my boundaries are in some of my relationships. Which if my life to decide what I'm going to do with it. Once it feels weird I need to sever ties for a bit. Right now everything is peachy keen. I don't really have a lot of time to ramble off on this. I have to watch James Bond movies as I sit desk, thus I need to unplug the ole comp to bring downstairs with me. If only they had an ethernet line down there. I seriously would be all set for life. I love this. I mean I have no idea what I'm talking about. I just know that if I don't get some boy soon I'm gonna scream. It's 62 outside and I gotta stay inside and sign people out of the building. This blows.
Alright, in the next few days I'm gonna really try to make my blog a better place to visit. The layout is really annoying me. I think I'm gonna repost some things on my geocities page. It will look much nicer for it. Well, I hope to do that. I'm not really sure how to do html on that page, but we'll see if I'm smart enough to figure it out. Hahahah. Ok, enough layout babble.
So today I realized something dreaded. I miss home. I miss mom. I want to go home! I really do. Just for a bit. I don't know what's come over me. It's just wrong. I really do despise Texas. I wish I could get over it. I'm not bashing Texas, it's just not for me. I don't want hate mail. I'm an East Coast girl. I really am. I love Boston, but I mean it's nice to go out and get a Dr. Pepper whenever you want. Just sit back and take rides in the car. Make my mom suffer through ska music. I mean home has it's benefits. I don't want to work this summer though. Bleh, no way Jose. I just hate the thought of not being able to work at the library, because they gave my position away. She said she would have kept it for me too, if she knew. Which is a load of bullshit because she knew that I was going home this summer. Whatever, the library is all full of evil city lies. I love the library though. Books. My first love!
I'm hungry for Fritos. Actually, just chips in general. I want some chips. Baked Lays perhaps. I had lemon cookies this morning. It's too hot outside. 73. I bought sandels to for the occasions. I'm still wearing my converse though. Oh, and I have "Blister in the Sun" on repeat. It's starting to get on my nerves now. Alright, I changed the song to "I Miss You" by Bjork. She is an awesome pixie princess. She is so cute. I like her swan dress. I think she is super neat-o!
Oh, go to this
. I didn't know that James Iha (for those out of the loop, ex-guitarist for Smashing Pumpkins) has a clothing line. It's so awesome. He is one beautiful man. His songs are not my style but I do enjoy "Jealousy" and "Country Girl" a whole lot. Good cute and cheesy lovey songs. Everyone needs that once in a while. Also, go here and visit ANNA
. She has a link up to my site. I thought I would do a favor and giver her a huge props here on mine. She reminds me of myself. We have a lot of the same interests. Plus, Austin just kix ass if you have to choose a place in Texas that should be it. I don't hate all of Texas just most of it. Hahahaha. I am a laugh a minute here.
Hmm, so I have a 149 days to meet Billy Corgan and make him fall madly in love with me. Do you think it will happen? I predicted that we would get married when I was 20. I was right when I said that I would meet him when I was 18 and he was 34. I met him when he was 33 and 34. So there, all in like a matter of months apart from each other. That just rocks. I am that good. So I'll let you know if I get chained down to one man exclusively. He's really got a sexy charm about him. I think I am really attracted to intelligence more than to looks. I like a lot of boys right now that their knowledge just blows me away. I mean yah they aren't bad to look at, but I mean I am way more turned on by that than anything else.
Indie Rock Boys make me drool. Pretentious rock snobs do the same thing. Are you a musician? Are you single? Are you a male? Are you intelligent? Leave me a message. Hahaha. I should rename my journal. I don't want a punk boy anymore. I want a cute indie rock boy with a mod haircut. Boys with longish hair rock my world. Will I ever get any action?
Take the Affliction Test Today!
Congratulations, you're rabies!
Transmitted by rabid animals, you're most commonly found infecting creatures such as raccoons, skunks, bats and foxes. But don't worry, you affect humans too, causing either paralysis or hyperactivity in your advanced stages, and ultimately death.
Your most famous symptom is hypersalviation - that delightful foaming at the mouth that we have come to know and indeed love. However, you can also cause hallucination; think of the fun you could have at parties!
Sometimes I cause foaming at the mouth for other reasons. But we won't go into that here. Okay?!
Who will be my fling tonight? I wish I had one. Just one night. One night of Jello-tastic fun.
Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!
I am such a quiz junkie. MIDNIGHT...COOLIDGE CORNER...SAY ANYTHING...JOHN CUSACK. What more could you ask for?
I'm from the same state as Ryan Adams. Hot baby. Too hot. This test lies though. I'm nowhere close. And that's a good thing. I hate Texas! No offense. It's good for some people. And for concerts. Just not me. Actually, Boston is better for smaller concerts. Alright, this is a stupid argument. Laters.
Take the "What Kind of Southerner Are You?" Test!
had been saying the same temperature for 3 days. Hahaha...so I was had to reopen it. I was like there is no way that it's only 47 outside. It's almost 60 out. As much as I despise hot weather, I love having spring weather again. I love seeing people on the benches in the park again. I wish I had a little boy toy to cuddle in the park. Drats! That's all I can say about that. I don't like the tourists though. They can go to hell. Go back home you fucking tourists! Alright, now with that in the open I can continue on with peace. There is this homeless man that I see sometimes in the park. He likes to sit in the same sun spot when it's sunny hotside. He makes me so sad. I never noticed before, but he has this horrible sores on his ankles and he's sunburned pretty badly. I would love to go out and just buy him new clothes and a hat. I don't know what I can do about his ankles. They are all cracked and look horrible. I almost cried. I have never felt this way about a homeless person before, because normally they dont' look this bad. I mean I think a lot of the Boston homeless are frauds to tell you the truth. A lot of them are wearing clean clothes and look pretty well off for a homeless person, especially the ones that sit and harass you. The real homeless don't harass people for money. They are the crazy ones that are dirty and screen obscenities to themselves or to imaginary things that they see. These are the homeless people that we need to help. Maybe I'll go out and get him something special.
I feel damn sexy today. I am wearing my hip hugger flares. Normally, I feel like a huge blob, but today the ego is in full swing. I look hot. It must have been the not eating very much thing. I feel so much better to. I like not being a pig. I mean I feel so hot and sexy and like "fuck the world" today. I feel positive and I don't care about anyone's opinion. All this feeling came to me in like a matter of an hour. I don't know where it did, but I'm glad that it arrived. I deserve to feel sexy and hot. I need it. I love these pants. Alright.
Oh, hi to my special Jello buddy. You know who you are. Yummy, lime. Hmm, can I unbuckle that belt for you? Inside jokes kick ass. :-)
I will see you soon my special blogger buddies. I love you all.
Sometimes I think that the only way to get to know yourself is to get know yourself through others. What I mean by this is that you find out who you are by what others say about you. Hopefully, it's all positive. Mostly it isn't. I wish it was. Lately, I'm starting to get this "I don't give a crap!" type attitude about anything. Then I caught myself thinking about a visitor I might be having next week. I'm starting to think "Oh, shit. I gotta impress this person." It's way hard to think this way. I don't know why it's just this individual I am trying so hard to make like me. I want my first impression to be so stunning. That of course is not me, but a false front I'm putting up to impress someone. Of course, my personality wouldn't change. My appearance can though. I'm starting to run a mental inventory of what's in my closet. I've picked out a dress. I don't wear dresses on a normal basis. It's insane of me to think that I will be able to pull this of. I'm starting to think of shoes that I can wear. I need to look good. Maybe I'll bust out the make-up. This is insane. I don't know why I care so much.
I started comparing this person to other people. Other people that I've had visit. Other people that I've seen. Other people I never though to impress. I was careful when choosing an outfit maybe. Conscious for sure, but never to this extreme weird worrying state. It's really sad. I hate to think that I've slunk down a level. I'm hoping to stun this individual, but if I can't do that with my personality than it doesn't really matter anyway.
Today, I wanted for my friend and I noticed people looking my way. I sure hope they were looking at me or else I've gotten an inflated ego too. Hahaha. Which would be funny cause I would say a great number of the people I've been talking to recently have an ego deal going on. Not in a bad way. I understand why they have it. But it's definately there.
My ideal mate: mod haircut, cuffed jeans, black shirts, and a nipple ring. But I've said it before ideals just suck. Punk boys suck too. I mean, if you are a punk boy I think you are gorgeous, but unless you can disprove to me my theory than you can't really make an argument your way. I haven't really met any nice ones. Ok, that's not true they are nice, but they aren't interested.
I seem to do a good deal of attracting very intelligent older men. I don't mean a lot older but one to three years older than me. I did this in high school when I was 16. It all started with me saying I had never kissed anyone. Then it lead to a kiss. Hmm, this could lead to other things. I won't discuss those here. I have too much pent up sexual tension in me right now. I just hope that I can think clearly. I want a fling.
Fuck! That's a great start for this entry. What the fuck have I been thinking lately? I've been thinking with the nether regions again. Oh, dear. Boys, Boys, Boys! It's horrible. Stop thinking about x, x being sexual touch. I love describing ways that way. It's fantastic. So Sunday I stayed up until 5 am on AIM, and yesterday I was on the phone from 8:30 until 3 am. I mean jesus. What is wrong with me? Sorry, about my lack of taste in language. But I'm analyzing myself right now. It's so damn frustrating. Right now, I just want some stupid fling. I need to just get rid of these horribly sucky feelings. Not horrible but horrible to possess because they don't go away. Mmm, all I want is x. Yummy yummy x. See, I'm slightly obsessed. I'm starting to turn into someone that would call for a booty call. Well, only a close friend or something. I think it's because I'm not gonna be getting any when I'm back home in Texas. It's so gross. I need this. I just need some boy to molest for awhile. Just some little snuggle bunny that can tell me cute stories and share his BELTS with me! Someone to cuddle with. Someone...fuck...let's cut to the chase, to mess around with. I need that. I need to show that I can be passionate and intense dammit. It's in there somewhere. That animal exists in me deep down. I know it does. Biting is fun. I'm tired. Nap for a tiny bit. Later.
I'm in the "H" zone still. Try figuring that one out there.
Alright, get to know Yours Truly on a new level. Be weary this is very long. Go grab a tea and kick back.
Name: Diana Kristin ******
Aliases: Ska Princess, Yours Truly (no one calls me that!)
Screen Name: Pointedly Plaid
Grade: Freshman in college (13th grade)
Zodiac Sign: Virgo
Birth Hospital: Okinawa Japan (It wasn't on base. I'm not really sure.)
Birthplace: something, Okinawa, Japan
Past Hometowns: Japan, Scotland, Camp Hill, PA; Dallas, TX; and now Boston, MA
Hair Color: brown currently black
Eye Color: brown
Siblings: Sarah, 13
Parents: Josiah (Joe) and Evelyn
Hobbies: Writing, music, skanking
School: Emerson College
Pets: Eddie, Dog; Barbara, Cat; Tuffy, Cat
Current Crush: Too many to name
Current Boyfriend: NONE! You could help me with this.
Past Boyfriends: Jeremy, Skyler
First Notice About the Opposite Sex: Eyes, Hands, Hair
Perfect Date: walking anywhere, sitting in a park chatting, coffee, maybe watching a movie in my room - something really casual
Turn-Ons: Studded belts, Converse shoes, Blue eyes, Nice hands, 5'9" and up tall boys, Lip Rings, Spiked hair
Turn-Offs: Bad kisser, Can't hold a conversation on anything but tattoos and converse
Ideal Boy: Tall, sweet, gentle, likes to cuddle, punk rock boy...actually a musician. Or someone that works in a record store. Eh, ideals are dumb.
Song that Describes my current Love Life: Bodies by Smashing Pumpkins
Memory You Miss Most: Driving around DeSoto with my mom just to go to Albertsons to get sodas
Memory You Would Like to Forget: New Years Eve 2001/2002
Last Person You Talked to on the Phone: Mom
Last Thing You Said: Are you sure?
Last Song You Heard: David Duchovny by Bree Sharp
Last Movie You Saw: Goldfinger
Last Concert You Saw: Ani DiFranco Last Friday
Last TV show You Saw: The Osbornes
Last Time You Went Outside: I just walked across Boston Common. So beautiful out. Almost 70!
Last Time you Played A sport: Oh, dear. Putt Putt Golf over Christmas break. I can't remember. Is skanking a sport?
Last Time You Saw Your Best Friend: Some time over Christmas Break in December 2001
Last CD You Bought: The Living End
Last Time You Got a Real Letter: Hmm, some time in December.
One Person You Decided Wasn't worth Your Time: That Boy
Something Important You Plan to Buy in the Next Six Months: Plane Ticket home
Something Important you plan to buy in the next few years: a college education
Dream Car: 300 series BMW...is that right?
Marriage: Yes...but not now.
Kids: Hmm, not really into it. Maybe adoption. Still thinking about this one.
Boy Names: Lucas, Russell, Brian, Luke
Girl Names: Gillian, Faith, Ophelia
Honeymoon: Hawaii or Japan...Europe?
Home: New England or London
Pets: Cats and Dogs and Hamsters
Wedding: non-traditional...rather keen on a wedding in a park
Maid of Honor: ?
Bridesmaids: Laura, Kate, Meghan
Colors: Ivory and lacy
Drink: A&W Rootbeer floats or Roastaroma Tea
TV Show: X-Files, Who's Line Is it Anway?
Movie: Fight Club or Edward Scissorhands or Ghost World
CD: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
Band: Smashing Pumpkins and Reel Big Fish
Singer: Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace
Musical Instrument: Guitar, Trumpet, Drums
Actor: Johnny Depp, Jude Law
Actress: Thora Birch
TV character or cartoon: Sakura or Tuxedo Mask, That girl from Freaks and Geeks
Weekend Activity: Newbury Comics...shopping for music.
Month: May or September...maybe March
Season: Fall or Spring
Book: High Fidelity
Holiday: Easter or Arbor Day
Cookie: Those soft Lemon ones. Lemon Drops.
Phrase to overuse: Oh well...
Toothpaste: Colgate with baking soda and whitening
Ice Cream: Jamiacan Rum
Candy Bar: Twix
Teacher: Finn! Caroline in elementary school.
Restaurant: The Olive Garden or Bang Kok Wok (Revetars)
Channel: WB or Fox or NBC
Radio Station: The EDGE, KDGE in Dallas
Type of Music: Indie, Emo, Ska, Punk, alternative
Music Video: Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins or Motivation - Sum 41
Outfit I have: Jeans, Black Chucks, Studded belt, Black shirt
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown or Black
Sport: Ice Hockey or Skiing
Olympic Event: See above...Figure Skating
Sports Team: Pittsburgh Penguins
Sports Figure: Jaromir Jagr or Mario Lemieux
Magazine: Rolling Stone, Seventeen, Melody Maker (RIP), NME
Clothes Brand: don't care
Hangout: Gee's House or The Park
Card Game: Speed
Friend: Too many
Saying Over the Phone: Hola
Alright, there's a ton more of this questions. But I don't have the patience. So I hope now you have a better understanding of me now. I don't know if I do. If you want to know anything else. E-mail me. I'm bored. I have free time. Not really. I never sleep. Sleeping is good. Right - o. Looking forward to seeing responses. I want damn responses.
It's boston. It's spring. It's tourist season. I hate the weekends. Go the fuck away your tourists. I was one once, but now it's my home and it's annoying sometimes. Plus, I suck at giving directions. I live right down the street from the Bull and Finch Pub though aka Cheers! You know the tourists from miles off all carrying fucking yellow bags full of the useless junk they must sell there. I haven' t been there, but my mom, sister, and dad have gone. See...tourists. Eh, what to do?
Right two things that make me happy. Little puppies and Ice cream. I saw a puppy today and the ice cream trunk was outside, but alas they were closed. I was so in the mood for an orange soda and vanilla soft serve. Oh, well there is always tomorrow. It's still not very hot yet. I think it might rain. It's sorta muggy out right now.
Listen to Suicide Machines
I can't wait to go to Warped Tour...all I've been listening to is Five Iron Frenzy. They rock my little world. *sighs* Wholesome good ole fun for the whole fam. I mean, they are Christian Ska. It makes no difference they still rock my ass. Sorry, Kate...our ass. Long story.
I'm running out of funny anedotes. I need something to write about. Bleh...I am not a sex machine. Wait, no...yes I am.
Fuck, so this is what it's like to be happy. Hmm, I like it. I really fucking like it.
Bored. Restless. Tired. Should have went to sleep an hour ago. I was waiting for someone to get on AIM, seriously, that is so sad. I wanted to talk to Derek. Oh, well...he's fun stuff. I like him too much. Way too much. I mean he is amusing. I didn't get to say bye to him last night. I am such a nerd. I hope Shawn does get to visit. That would make my day. I would want to kiss him. I want to kiss all cute boys. I want to kiss boys in general. Well, as we are on this subject...here we go:
Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite??
See what boredom brings you. Nothing but dumb quizzes and people's amazing blogs. I chose this blog because they didn't have black and red. Now Blogskins
has one. But I don't want to redo my template. See, simple punky laziness. I have a studded belt. I am the epitome of sex now. Watch sex ooze from my skin. I need some sleep. I don't want to do homework. I want to go to sleep. Alright, night.
If you do one thing in life. Go to WARPED TOUR 2002!
I just think that it would improve your life. I am sick of writing and trying to figure myself out. Why do I keep eating meat when I want to be a vegetarian. I am weak.
Any Vegan boys out there gonna help me? I need it. And I need someone to order Starbucks for me. I'm lame. I suck. Whine. Whine. Whine.
Fuck you. I used to make sense. I don't anymore. I want to take a little nappy wappy to make me happy again. Right, like anything could help. I'm gonna go be unproducutive. My room is messy. Come clean it. Will you? Please.
Ignore this post. I think I am on something. High on...er...bacon.
I don't understand what this means. Should I? You know I'm lame when I take tests and have no fuck what they mean. Oh, well...
I am orcka!
I love carrots and a good bobba. I am the queen of ghetto booty, and I'll bite your head off if you try to fuck with me.
Click me to try it!
Maybe I should look it up. Nah.
take it or bust. Cologenics!
You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.
You need a friend - a close friend - and you are willing to become emotionally involved with the right person, but you are very demanding and particular in your choice of partners. You are constantly looking for reassurance and it is perhaps because of this that you tend to be somewhat argumentative, but you try to hold back - careful to avoid open conflict - since this might reduce your prospects of realising your hopes of establishing a warm caring relationship.
Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.
You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.
It's addictive. Plus, it wasn't my idea this time.
Good day in class. I got a notice for Jury Duty in the mail. This sucks big time ass. I don't want to do it. You'll never get me fuckers! Sorry, that's the last time I promise.
(3:56:31 PM): well
(3:56:49 PM): My opinion of your physical appearance and sexual appeal doesn't really change with my attitude toward anything you've done.
(3:57:05 PM): Unless you're hit by a car or something, you'll be beautiful. Deal with it. ;b
Look at this, when did I become beautiful? I guess I always was. This is intense. I would have kept the s/n but I didn't want any "real" freaks, not like I'm not one and he's not, sending him random IMs. Alright, isn't that a wonderful tihng to say. Also, some boy in my school wants to cut my hair. Also, I got my dream converse. This is a list of all the things that I would need to accomplish to be the happiest girl in the entire world. No joke.
1) studded belt
2) cuff watch
3) short spiky hair
Most punk boys are jerks. I've learned to deal with it. But they are damn fine!
My class was canceled. This is what I did instead. I guess I should sleep, I mean study.
Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!
|You Are Ichabod Crane From "Sleepy Hollow."|
You're a deep thinker - most times logically. You're a bit of a neat freak and a wuss (hey, you do faint a lot!) but you do have the ability to overcome your fears and come out stronger in the end. And you never lose your head over things. (Gufaw gufaw!)
The sad thing is that I think this is true. But I'll fight you to the death fucker. Sorry, I'm a bit obsessed with that word right now.
You are Carl Sandburg
You see the world in a different way than your peers and are able to find beauty in the most unusual places!
Take the Which Poet are You? Quiz - brought to you out of boredom and pretention!
I also am Maya Angelou, Sylvia Plath, and Robert Frost. I don't like them as much. Hahaha...plus this description was better. So there...fuckers!
I am the nature-loving Jesus. There seems to be nothing that will stop me from protecting the earth and my furry friends. I may also have a hidden passion for sweater knitting.
Take the What Jesus Would You Be?
I don't think it's appropriate to say fuckers after this. Fuck. Nevermind.
Aw, cheer up little ducky. Why so glum?
Find your inner rubber ducky.
Eh...so emo! But not. Fuckers! Sorry, might as well make it four for four ya know.
I think that was the weirdest entry ever. Listen to the Deathray Davies!
Alright, I just want to say that I have the best friends ever. I don't know why they even still talk to me. I'm such a mopey EMO kid that I have no idea why they are still there after every turn. I love them. Pure and simple.
About yesterday, I'm sorry I still talk to That Boy it's because I was in love with him. I am very non-feeling for him right now. Yes, he was an asshole. Yes, he (YOU) had the wrong intentions. I thought about it last night. If that's all he (YOU) wanted from me than you need to be upfront about it. Sorry, actually he was upfront. I was dumb. I still fell for him. Who knows what's wrong with me? Stupid emotions. I am not really emo. I wish I was. My music is just not sad emo music. Hey, anyone have some recommendations. Cause I have no idea actually who is emo and who isn't. Hahaha. I am such a loser.
Sorry, this is the put down myself entry apparantly. I didn't want it to come out that way. I just wanted to update this lousy thing since I never do anymore. I want to. I actually thought about doing it last night. I didn't. I've been sleeping most of my days away. Dead stupid. I know because I have lots of reading and papers due so soon. I'm gonna fail all my classes. I am a loser.
Why are bunnies so emo? I don't think that I'm going to be accepted by www.makeoutclub.com. I don't know why, I'm just as cool as some as those dorks. Whatever. Maybe I'll reapply. I'm cool really. Bleh...like you could have black hair and pull it off. Sorry mean "Yours Truly" mode is coming into play this morning. Arg. I need some coffee. I need some tea. I need some loving. I need a cute studded belt. I need some boy to tease. I am happiest when boys are around. My life is way to dependent. I wish my mom would stop calling. I should file my taxes. My head hurts. Does anyone want to give me a gameboy? That would improve my life. Or possibly a studded belt. If you gave me a studded belt. I would be yours forever and ever. You don't even know how thankful I would be. I would rename the blog after you. Something like "YOUR NAME HERE ROX MY WORLD AND YOU DON'T!" or at least I would put your name somewhere. I would take your picture and make it a banner. I would paste it up on my page. I would. I know how to do that now. That's because I rock. Wow, studded belts put me in a damn good mood. Oh, guess what? I got my regular black low top converse chuck taylors. I am in love with them. I hope the Ryan Adams guy is there. I wish he would ask me out on a date just because our hair matches. And now so do our shoes. It doesn't matter if you have matching shoes, only if you have matching hearts. I wish our heart matched. Hmm, that would be a good poem. Mental note: work on that later. Alright, since I got myself all cheery talking about studded belts and converse I think I will depart before I get all emo and have to shoot myself. Remember, how I'm gonna die folks? Look below.
Watch out fuckers! Yours Truly is gonna blow your fucking mind!!
I wish this was true. Tests lie sometimes. It hurts inside.
I'm a Wind Spiriti