The Hipster Brigade
Dave & I have been together for one year on January 1, 2005. Happy Anniversary.
1. experiment with my lomo cameras
2. organize clutter
3. 10(+) sit-ups everyday
4. write more letters
5. wear some make-up every now & then (just for fun)
6. go to bed at a decent hour
7. update blogs each week
8. dear god, stop eating chocolate -- diana, what's gotten into you?!!
9. more alone activities like crafting & writing
10. write in your handwritten journal each week
11. fold your clothes and use that dresser
12. take more pictures!
13. figure out a good vegetarian diet, perhaps look into a book
14. write to martha stewart living about college living ideas
15. try to find a real job
16. listen to mom!
17. it's not too late to write to michael palin
18. manicures/pedicures are essential for a happy life.
19. write zine!!
20. remember why you are in boston?! school -- do your homework!!
i know that a lot of these are silly and maybe even a bit frivilous, but i need to remind myself what i'm capable of everyday. i feel like i'm always struggling. i need to realize that i'm capable of anything.
i've been thinking a lot about how to make my last semester at emerson, my best. so far, my senior year is looking good, i think. i only had difficulties in one class -- american lit -- and i knew from the beginning that it would be a tough one. i'm just not a literature person as much as i love reading and writing, there is no way a bunch of stuffy writers that have been dead for 60 years+ do a thing for me. well, that's not always the case, but seriously, poetry by pilgrims and short essays by benjamin franklin leave me nowhere but exhausted. i felt the same way about this class as i did in high school math. will i ever use this information? although, i bet i will.
one of my favorite classes ended up being the class i almost dropped. yes, introduction to poetry. i just didn't think i was good enough. in fact, i spent a lot of time going over and editing my poems, and i got A's on every single one -- only one was a B -- and when i turned in the rewrite the teacher wrote on there, "Why did I give you a B? Was I insane?" another poem he wrote on it, "Will I be seeing you in the advanced class next semester? I've really enjoyed reading your poetry." the class left me feeling good about my writing. i honestly didn't think i had anything left to offer.
now, it's hard to say if i loved the professor because of the classes or i loved the classes because of the professor, but novel into film & adv. fiction writing were some of the best classes i've ever had at emerson. i'm so glad that i met kevin miller, because not only is he a nice man, he's a good mentor. i plan on seeking him for advice next semester. *swoon* p.s. not to mention, the amazing films i got to learn about in my class -- the manchurian candidate, invasion of the body snatchers & the deep end. such lovely things indeed!
now, about this new semester:
i have room for one more class, but i'm not really sure what i want to end up taking. i know i need to keep my eyes peeled or otherwise i'll end up having to take a summer course. i just want to avoid literature classes at all costs UNLESS I CAN GET INTO AMERICANS IN PARIS TAUGHT BY KEVIN MILLER -- the school even treats you to a FREE trip to paris!! seriously, i get to learn about beatniks and all sorts of lovely things with my favorite professor and then go to paris! what a dream! i'm not sure if this class is open to anyone (the registrar says no day students!) so i'll have to wait on this one.
plus, i have one incomplete to finish for holocaust literature.
wow, graduation in the spring. i just can't believe it.
okay, friends...i've got another entry in THE SAMPLER haiku contest. do me a favor & drop me a vote (or two)!!
home of the sampler
nifty mini packages
delivered by mail
very late christmas list
last night it snowed, one day late, so dave and i walked around taking pictures and having windy flurries blow into our faces. we ended up at the movie theater, where we saw House of Flying Daggers, which is an excellent & everyone should go see it right now. the only problem was when 4 people snuck in for the last 10 minutes talking & giggling in the very back of the theater and i decided to solve the situation by YELLING for them to shut up. it didn't work, but i tried! one day, i'm going to end up in a fight and i'm going to be so proud showing off my missing front teeth and black eyes.
now, on with the christmas goods:
-brown converse chuck taylors
-mini zen garden
-black picture frame with this picture
-black & white polka dotted tie
-antique-y looking gift tags
-vespa journal (in fact, the same notebook i gave to my friend, numidas, last year)
-ramones anthology cd
-lost in translation dvd
& dave recieved:
-two t-shirts: this one
from threadless & another
from the cotton factory
-2 dry erase boards
-kaki king cd & the killers cd
-a bundle (3) of eddie izzard dvds from amazon
-wok recipe book
then today we went to the mall
(& were forced to wait 20 minutes for the shuttle bus to lechmere in the cold-cold) & stopped by H&M (no undies, i swear), Old Navy & Best Buy.
dave left with:
-vcr & dvd combo player
-waking ned devine & two days in the valley dvds
-4 rolls of 800 speed fuji film
& diana left with:
-16 super extra powered energizer batteries
-the neverending story dvd
-32 cd carrying case
-2 flowery button-up shirts
-1 stripey sweater
-1 yellow sweater
-1 pair of flowery shoes
-1 pair of jeans
& i really want to shop at victoria's secret, but i never know what to get there. i need a pair of nude stockings for my garter belt, but it's not on the priority list, perhaps it should be. i need some sort of lingerie patch. i definitely have a problem.
the holidays & other big events
everyone is asking me if i'm back in texas & i'm not. i'm still here in boston, massachusetts & i'm spending my first christmas away from home. i know it sounds lonely, but rest assured i'm all tucked in at my boyfriend's place drinking cup after cup of green tea nursing myself back to health. (i have a bit of a cold, you see). i've packed enough things for a thousand vacations, so i can't be bored with books, cable, video games & a nice stereo system. in fact, i haven't sat down and just listened to music in a long time -- when your head is swimming full of literature -- it either finds comfort in sitting down around silence or watching stand-up comedy. that's how i made it through this last semester -- a lot of guilty pleasures -- which included multiple trips to my favorite clothing store, H&M, to buy undies. i don't think i could have gotten through it all without a bit of reward.
so, there is no lack of christmas at this apartment, the gifts are collected in a little alcove in the entertainment center -- it's a shame we don't have a tree, but that doesn't mean there is not christmas cheer. afterall, just a walk outside and we see the white lights of the boston common -- one of my favorite sights of living here.
i know that i haven't been here for this lately -- no wild stories to relate, but i'm hoping that will change over the course of the month. i promise to bring pictures and snow and candy canes -- tiny treats for your tired hands and weary eyes. i've done so much writing this semester it feels like i never stop -- although, i never grow tired of it, only frustrated. so a bit more writing over the holiday is surely not going to kill me, i probably should be doing it anyways.
I HAVE A HAIKU IN THE SAMPLER HAIKU CONTEST!!
please go vote for me!
punk rock DIY
the sampler has everything
coming to your door
& perhaps go enter your own -- who doesn't want 3 free months of the sampler?!
do good pt. 2
oh yes, i forgot to tell you about this: so, i started off the year with an incident, i'd like to say that i didn't witness this one & no one got fired, but it was an incident! my boyfriend was riding the elevator when three freshman get on at the 5th floor, one of those goes look what i did earlier today with my bike & pushes the elevator door -- it starts to swing AND REMEMBER, the elevator is still moving to the lobby at this point. suddenly, the elevator starts shaking and stops, but goes to the 4th floor & stops. everyone escapes (and since i was sitting desk at the time) i see three people laughing and running to the door and my boyfriend comes to me & tells me what happened.
guess what fuckers? you broke the elevator!
i really don't know what's wrong with the world today.
i think i've done a lot of terrible things to people over the last semester, i've become such a nark! i had a run in with an awful security guard that called me passive aggressive & he can no longer work in my dorm. honestly, he wouldn't sign my boyfriend in properly and his job is ridiculously easy. but apparantly, this same security guard is well-known by emerson public safety for causing a ton of trouble -- so perhaps i don't feel so bad afterall. even if one of the other students came & talked to me about him and was like, "do you really want him to be fired?" i don't know -- i was a bit biased as the security guard not only smelled bad (like he hasn't showered in days) but was really creepy! although, i'm not someone to make a big deal if a big deal shouldn't be made. so, i was just doing my job as an emerson desk receptionist by reporting him for not doing his job. oh well.
& then another desk incident happened this saturday, where the boy (who just happens to be an RA) didn't show up for his shift. i probably wouldn't have minded so much if this was his first time, but this was the 4th time he had not shown up. it was just really aggrivating because i can't go around calling people at 10am to sit the shift, i'm basically stuck sitting 5 hours in a row (7am to 12pm) with only 3 hours of sleep. i ended up calling the desk cordinator and leaving a message with her telling her about it -- she has known about the previous incidents obviously & even helped me out in the past. so i just sat there with an angry look on my face reading Lizard by Banana Yoshimoto. finally, 20 minutes before the end of my second shift, the boy comes down looking really sad & says to me, "well, if it makes you feel any better, i lost my job" -- & i guess he can't be an RA anymore. i guess some ultimatum had been set if he missed anymore shifts or slipped up something he would lose his job. i felt really bad, just the look on his face. i don't know -- there are bad & good RAs and i don't really know if he was a good one or not, but he neglected his desk sitting job, which is part of the RA experience. i don't know if he's done anything else -- he's not my RA and i don't know the dorm gossip, but i do feel bad for the fellow. i don't think i could have stopped it from happening by not calling. he obviously felt really bad and even sat the last 20 minutes of the shift. poor lad.
i guess i wish people would do what their supposed to do. i think if you are a caring & considerate person, people definitely have more tolerance if you mess up. but even the nicest people get fed up with empty apologies. i'm sick of being stepped on as an individual, so i'm a bit heavy on the authority brakes. i take what i do seriously (or as seriously as humanly possible) and do what i can to help everyone else out. i just can't help but feel a bit bad about the incidents. nothing too heavy on my conscious, but it is there.
trust me, i'm not goody two shoes. this isn't high school anymore & i break as many rules as i can -- the secret is not to get caught!
now it's everywhere
it's funny how you start talking about something wanting to happen & then it does. this silence thing is going to take some getting used to -- no tv at night and staying out of the dorm seem to be the best bets. even my neighbor isn't listening to loud music from morning to midnight lately. my semester ends in about a week. i'm holding my breath. i can't believe i'm not asking for incompletes and i'm not panicked at all -- i mean, i should be.
but i don't want to break this luck thing just yet by talking about it.
the rat's legs by russell edson
i <3 intro to poetry!
enjoy the silence
last night, there was no sound -- not even the low buzz of the refridgerator to fall asleep to. no showers. no elevator clicks. no locking doors. there was the sound of my own eardrums and at first, i didn't know what it was -- the quiet. surrounding me as i fell asleep. the first time in ages when i wasn't tossing and turning. i was still like everything else in the city.
thank you, boston.
turn off the bright lights
i look out my window and i see street lights at 5pm, and tiny puddles collecting in the cracks of the sidewalk. i am tired of it all. for once, i want it to be completely dark at midnight & for people to stop having conversations outside of my window. i'm becoming tired of the city. i'm ready to move on. yesterday, i seriously said to my boyfriend, "let's go move into my house in pennsylvania -- just you and me."
my house in pennsylvania has been empty since the christmas of 1995. it's huge -- basement, patio, big front yard with a pine tree fence, rose bushes along the driveway, an attic, upstairs - 3 bedrooms, tons upon tons of room for just two people. THERE IS EVEN A LAUNDRY ROOM! & two dining areas. i'm surprised we haven't moved back there, but i don't control my family's decisions.
anyways, i think a lot of the reason i'm fed up is that it takes so much concentration to live in the city or else every fantastic thing about it passes you by. i'm too busy here. i'm doing classes and being in love. i'm trying to be a good sister. i'm tryign to many things to be distracted & the city distracts me. there's too much shopping, noises and bright lights!
i just want it to be quiet for two seconds. let me relax, take a bubble bath and let me turn off my mind.
but instead, it's raining which adds to the noise, but also adds another calm. the only calm i think the city gets. but what i'd like better is snow. one of the most beautiful things is to wake up in the morning and see everything covered in white -- untouched & gorgeous -- the city, a virgin.
& we know how often one can find one of those in the city. that's right, never.
no title necessary
an endless love affair
so, three years here!
november 2001 - november 2004. with other bits scattered on livejournal
. i feel like i've grown up right in front of everyone, even if i was 20 years old when i started. my whole self discovery is documented amongst the archives from childhood to my...am-i-really-an-adult-hood. people have told me they can't get through my past writing because it's incredibly boring & awful and nothing like how i write now -- it's true -- i've lost the girl i used to be. & i'm nothing like how i wanted to be back then -- trying to conform to be one of the non-comformists and then finally giving up and accepting myself. it was a long process -- one i'm still in.
i guess i just want to pat myself on the back for making it this far. honestly, i didn't think i could.