The Hipster Brigade
go here: My other and For Right Now, More Active Journal Place
. I would make this a link, but you guys can cut and paste. This computer is horrible. I'll be posting there for a bit. I need a change.
Hello all. I'm in Hell, I mean home right now. It felt good just to get on AIM a couple of times. How come when I'm on AIM no one is there to talk too. I miss everyone. I miss Boston. It may not seem like I've been gone for long, but it feels like I've been gone for an eternity. I sure hope this works cause I'm sorta on an unreliable computer source. I cannot see what I am typing right now. So I am sorry if this post comes out with a ton of computer erros and whatnot. ARg. This blows. Laters.
Yesterday, one of the most fantastic and wonderful days of my life. Laura and I got up early and headed for the bank to ask a few questions. Of course, why would it be open? That just would be too convenient for us college students. So we decided to hit up the dining hall and then we realize that we have an hour to kill before it opens. Since we are staying on campus past the May 8 the dining hall has these weirdo hours. So we went and just killed time buying stupid Boston souvenirs for my mother and we found this cute little art shop. I thought about buying one of my professors a present, but I thought that might be a little too wierd.
The food was divine. I must say that we opened up the place and were the first ones there. I had the cheesiest omelete ever in history. It was so delicious. Also, applesauce with cinnamon and sugar is scruptious. One of my favorite things in the world. Food time was awesome.
Well, what made killing all the time inbetween the dining hall opening was the fact that it was pouring outside. I don't even have an umbrella. By the time, we got inside we were all wet and disgusting. My hair looked like an otter crawled on my head and had decided to stay and take a nap. I, like an idiot, packed all my warm clothes away when I put them in storage and I was wearing two jackets. So at least I had one dry layer. Poor Miss Laura was all soaking.
After the dining hall we decided we wanted to go to the Aquarium. The New England Aquarium is way awesome. They have penguins! So we finally get there on the T (subway) and there's this huge puddle to cross the road to the Aquarium and we decide because we are so wet anyway that we should just take our shoes and socks off and wade across. It was so much fun running across the road. It was definately cold though. This all sounded better placed in my head. The day was amazing. We became part of an exhibit too. It was so much fun.
Derek was last night too. I had too much fun. Way too much. I am exhausted. I leave for hell tomorrow. HOLD ME I'M SCARED!
I need to treat each day like it's the last. I don't know what to expect when I return home. I haven't been home since January 17th. Isn't that scary? It frightens me. I know nothing has changed and that might be what scares me even more. I have
changed. I don't know how I will be accepted. Will I even be accepted? Someone hold me close. My door rattles with the old musty building wind. I may never see you again. Love me tenderly.
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones kicks fucking ass. Go see it. NOW!
Old AIM profile:
About Me ~click here~
Do you own a VESPA? Can I have a ride?
I <3 4518511!
I own a pair of wings, but they're in for repairs.
I need my 4.1.
Numbers rock my world!
Final Destination after college: The Windy City
I've made a decision. Woohoo.
Sometimes your bestest friends just don't get it.
My Future: Chicago and lots of rabbits.
You know who is uber hot. John Cusack. Mmm mmm good.
Today is Star Wars. My friend Laura and I bought our tickets online. We aren't the first but certainly we aren't the last to see the movie. We are super geeky and excited about this. Don't ruin it for us. We want to shine in our dorky splendor.
Do yourself a favor and listen to No Doubt
. Gwen just kicks ass!
Sometimes I feel like posting in here to procrastinate. Other times I like posting just to update so I don't forget it. Sometimes I post because it's really just comforting spewing my problems on to paper or rather pixelating it out here for other people to deal with. I've been pretty bad lately with the updating thing. I've been doing a lot of sleeping. I've lost interest in a lot of things lately and I just feel like being lazy and not thinking right now. I keep replaying what happened last Wednesday in my mind over and over. It's funny how I don't like to let things like that go. I tell it over and over. I think constantly about it until each drop is so rehashed that I have lost the memory altogether. I don't want to go home. Home is a scary place. I don't want to leave Derek. Why do I have to leave just when I found something I really am feeling comfortable about? This blows. I don't want to grow up and sometimes being juvenile is such a comfort. I've started to listen to music I haven't listened to in a long time. My old favorites...Everclear, Our Lady Peace, Collective Soul, etc. Also, I've found a new long with Gwen Stefani. She's so fucking amazing. Thank you VH1! I want to be that kick ass.
I've been thinking more and more about my dream. About what I really want to be when I get out of here. How I love music and that the movie High Fidelity makes me a little giddy. I want to own a record store. I think that would be so amazing. Also, I just love the idea of being surrounded with something that I love. I keep thinking that next year I want to put up signs advertising a female vocalist aka me. I want to be in a band. I don't care what I do. I can't play a single fucking instrument. I want to change that though. I want guitar lessons. I want to be in a ska band though. If I'm going to be in any band than I'm going to be in a band where it's going to be fucking fun to play in every night. Dancing to ska is so much fun. I've run myself down lately on it though. There is nothing new with ska lately. I don't know I get tired easily I guess. I really like Yeah Yeah Yeahs and The White Stripes. Sometimes I wonder if liking them makes me like everyone else in my quest to not be like everyone else I have become the same. Sometimes I wonder why I care so much.
Lately, my friends have been making me so blah. Not my Boston friends but my Dallas friends. I mean fuck yeah I am thankful to have them, but I wonder if you can out grow your friends. That sometimes you start to feel a little too old for them. That you know something they don't and you don't feel like sharing. I am tired. I feel like fading away. I wish I could be more enthusiastic but lately naps have become my new hobby.
So what to make of an IM message that tells me, and I quote: "You're diseased." What does that mean? I'm confused. Maybe you can help me out here. Perhaps an email. Are you okay? What is wrong honey? I do not like That Boy anymore. Sometimes I wonder why I don't regret things that I should regret. I guess it's because if I did that I would be super emo girl. Hmm...a new super hero perhaps?! I think so. I smell NBC knocking on my door sometime soon.
NBC: "Miss Diana, what is up with this Super Emo Girl? What is this? How much do you want for it?"
Me: "Hmm...an apartment in Boston. A starring role for Laura, Meg, and me. Got that? You better."
I'm not an actress. I use to be in school plays when I was little. I was in school plays until the 7th grade actually. That's not really that long ago if you think about it. It's scary how your life goes by so quickly. For the first time in my life people are actually recognizing me for my age. This is nice. I wish I was a Junior in college. That would be lovely. I like Boston though. I sorta want to drag it out. I've also have loved hanging out here with Laura. I can truly say that these past days have been incredible. Last night, we went into all the empty dorm rooms. After they cleaned them they left the doors open and we went room shopping. We found this one dorm on the 10th floor with this beautiful marble fireplace. The fireplace doesn't work but it's beautiful. We're putting that on the list of rooms we are interested in for next year. I really want a room for next year, but if I can't get one I'm just going to get an apartment and start working my ass off during the summer. I'm going to have to find some "flatmates" though so I don't have to pay some ridiculous and outlandish prices. I'm not scared of living on my own anymore. I can cope. It's amazing what the distance from home can do to you. I want to go home, but not really. I want to stay here in Boston. I want to see my sister and mom and dog and cats and everyone but I love it here so much. Here is where my freedom is. Here is where my heart is. I love it here. I don't know if it's just Boston or it would just be anywhere where I was free to live life the way I deem it should be lived. I'm not being ruled by some parental units. Where indie boys are plentiful. Anywhere where the temperature doesn't rise to 100 + a thousand and 3 humidity. I hate the hot. Snow is my friend. The rain is my friend.
It's raining right now actually. Some of the clearest thoughts ever are coming out of my fingertips right now. I'm not sure what it is. Probably lack of sleep. I am so horrible at constructing sentences and being lazy doesn't help either. I want to start a zine this summer. Maybe I'll actually do it. I miss it already...writing...and Boston...even classes and I'm still here. Next year is going to be a dream.
Today I was listening to alternative music. Everclear
. Collective Soul
. I don't miss it. I don't get that same high anymore off of it. I mean Smashing Pumpkins
are always going to be in my heart forever, but to me they are so much more than just a band. They are more than music. They are a way of life. I must say that I just dig the current trend of pop indie bands right now.
Go listen to The Strokes
. They will make your life a happier and dancier place. Who cares if the lyrics really are sad? The music is hip.
So almost getting fired is a very very bad thing. I almost got kicked out of the dorms. Apparantly, they told everyone but me that they were switching shifts around for whatever reason. I had to sit desk at 132 and I had no idea. I mean what the fuck is up with that, huh?!!! I basically am suppose to be out of the dorms tomorrow. Thank god she's (my boss) is not going to tell Josh (the RD) about it, so I'm very lucky. I'm so lucky in fact. I really had no clue. I feel so bad. I just sat there the whole time and I was thinking about how stupid I was that I didn't know about this. I feel so bad. So tomorrow I have 3 shifts. How grand?! I deserve it though. Jeez, I am so stupid. I feel so bad. The guy wasn't mad though. He was so nice. I took a shift for him so it's alright. I don't really mind that much. I'm just mad that I didn't know about this and that I missed a shift and a quarter of another one. I feel so badly. :-( I'm so sad.
I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT. I SUCK!!! This sorta made me feel better.
Listen to the White Stripes
! That John White is a hottie. Mmm, boys with longish hair are heavenly. They should be the only boys that are allowed to exist. Still exhausted from Derek. What a honey. ;-) I'm real glad that he can't read this.
So, hmm...9 days until I leave Boston. This is the shits. I don't want to go. They will have to drag me kicking and screaming. Good news: I got a job at the library back home. That's something to look forward too. Also, I might get to go to Fossil Rim. What a sexy place. Who doesn't love giraffes? I don't think anyone doesn't like feeding animals through the convenience of their own automobile. Can anyone just save me from the horrid climate? Some words that I don't like. sunhotsweatsandmosquites = summer. yuck, me no likes summer time. Fall is a beautiful time. I love winter. Me wrapped up in sweaters and blankets eating popcorn and watching Edward Scissorhands. That's a beautiful thing.
I cut my hair. I forgot if I told you or not. It's cute as all hell. You better love it.
Don't forget to say Happy Mom's Day to your mommies. If you don't it will come back and it will bite you in the bum. I won't forget. I love my mommy. You better too.
Dedicated to Mom's everywhere. HAPPY MOM'S DAY!!!! xoxo
So...last night. It was pure sex. Well, not sex in the literal definition of it. There was no nudeness. There was passion and heavy breathing though. Derek is one hot indie boy. I would just keep looking at him, and be like why is he out with me? He's so cute. Everything about him is so incredible. A date from 8:00 pm to 2:30 am...not too shabby if I say so myself. Derek...is damn...hot. Alright...I won't go into details but other people have just been lowered down the list of hot boy meat.
Good tunes, but don't make out to it: Yeah Yeah Yeahs
One of the few bands with a girl singer that I like! :-D So go listen up or else. Trust me. Have I ever lied to you before. BANG! is a hot hot song.
So today is a big day. I have my date with Derek. There a few words to describe how excited I am about it. I will steal one from him that he uses frequently online: Righteous. It shall be righteous. I am also starting to feel the effects of the butterflies in my stomach and it's 10 hours until the date. This is truly insane. I just know that if I don't kiss the boy this time I'm gonna go insane. I'm not sure why I am making such a big deal out of it. I just want him. That sounds wrong, but I guess it's true. The boy is magnificent. Compliments get boring after awhile. A nice insult is good everyonce and awhile. Obviously, they are not good all the time. They help one maintain one's ego. At Emerson you can see everyone's ego flying around above their heads like a fucking balloon. They are that big. Each person has their own personal blimp way above their heads. Some of us have rain clouds. I have one of those. I am mopey. I mean when I'm up, I'm up. I'm high on life and no one can bring me down. But my downs suck like all hell. I'm also just not fun to be around then, but I mean who is. No one likes sad people. Well, goth people do I guess. I mean goths are sad. Hmm, they are just a big dramatic. I like goth kids. I am in to death. I like Marilyn like the rest of you. Ok, that's a huge sterotype...but I must admit that stereotypes wouldn't exist unless they were somewhat true. It might not be all of you, but a big enough amount to where it has become a stereotype.
It's nice not being labled. I can't even explain what it's like not to have a clique. I think there are a lot of you out there like me that can say they do not feel connected even if you want to be. I wish I was at one point. You can clearly see that in past entries. I was a fucking punk. I was punk as fuck. Or that's what I thought. I just realized recently that I am happy just being myself. I don't want it anymore. I just want to be and to be happy and for animals to be all happy in the common. I'm not asking for World Peace cause that's not gonna happen in my life time.
Let's hold hands and sing camp fire songs played acoustic guitars. Update: Listen to Beulah!
I'm sorry. Wow, I ignored this good and plenty lately. I don't mean to. I'm officially done with classes. It's just the desk sitting I have to worry about right now. I am taking all these shifts for RAs now. Oh, joy. I just love waking up at 6 am to cover 7-9 shifts. JOY. I am a complete dumbass for taking them. Oh, well...so anyways this has been what's up lately.
Derek and I have a date on Thursday. We are going out to eat. I have no idea where yet. I just sorta wanna make out with him the whole time. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. If I don't do it soon. I'm gonna die.
Alright, last night was so crazy. The night before I stayed up until 5:30 am to finish writing this paper. Also, I was flirting with this moc
boy that goes to my school. I was just complimenting him and stuff. I think he's so beautiful. He has such awesome tattoos. He has star tattoos. I really want some of those, but I had never actually talked to this boy in person. I have seen him around stuff. Well, when we were in the dining hall I almost fainted cause I saw him in there. My friend Kate (who *sigh* left this morning as today was move out day for undergraduates. I'm lucky I get to stay and sit desk. Again...oh joy.) made me go talk to him. We had a nice little chat. He was super nice. He cut his hair I think. Well, he was suppose to have this show yesterday. I said I wanted to go. Haha...so it was in Roxsbury...this way sketchy place on the Orange Line. My lovely friend Laura, also staying, went with me. We ran right away into this cigarette smoking mumbling boy named Ben looking for the same place. Hahaha...at 9:45 we stopped looking. We couldn't find the damn place. It was incredible. I could not believe it. Well, Laura and I had this great adventure. It was an interesting night.
Well, I was gonna stay up with Laura and keep her company as she has to write this paper, but then I get a call to cover someone's shift at 7 am. So I went to sleep at around 1ish...then at 4 am...I wake up and there's this loud beeping. It's a fire alarm. Apparantly, I died in the flames...if there were any...I mean fuck...I am dead. My whole life flashed before my eyes. You know what I don't get is that they expect people to grab their IDs when there is an alarm. Isn't it more important to save your life. I mean jesus...hello, fire people, fire.
Today, I slept. I ate. I relaxed. Very nice.
Listen to Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
! Go check out indie hottie on here
Right-O. I've stopped thinking rationally a long time ago. Still debating on getting the old chop-a-roonie done to the old mop top. Alright, it's not really a mop top but some sort of shoulder length of hideiousness. I cannot spell. I lost that ability along with the education of college. Wow. It all went down the drain. Love gets in the way of living. Lust gets in the way of fantasy. Real boys fuck me up so badly. So many boys have better haircuts than I do. Why is this? I want to be a boy. No, I want to have a boy's haircut. Boys hair = better than a girl's.
I want Derek. Come mess me up sometime, ok. (Alright, the weirdest thing just happened. Just as I was typing that he came online. Is that a fucking sign or what? That scared me. It scared the fucking shit out of me.)
I'm gone. Passed out. Lata.
Well, well...we meet again. Sometimes having a horrible time makes for more entertaining issues. For example, when one' s roommate is a total bitch and one writes about it. It's funny and entertaining and you gain the sympathy of the reader. However, when one's life is going "oh, so smoothly" and everything is peachy keen and grand...a riot ensues cause there is no drama. I need the drama. I mean, yeah I've got some. I've got loads. I could tell you about home life and about how I can't even manage to keep a boy interested in me and my over the top paranoia about that. It's all paranoia really. He likes me. I like him. I think. I've become way intune with the stars lately. Way too intouch. I was reading what our signs were like last night together. What a lame-o? It's interesting. I think true too. I need to work on some things. Why was I so shy? Why is this entry such shit? Why am I asking so many damn questions?
I must stop and rethink. After I graduate from college I have started to think of a plan. It's either graduate school to become a librarian...(no, I don't have a bun or glasses)...or off to the Windy City with lots of bunnies. I like bunnies. Star gazing and Denny's. Maybe I'll become a waitress at Denny's. I love those Grand Slam breakfast things. So good. I like eggs. This is a new thing for me. I don't know why but this year I have like doubled my egg intake or something. I think it has something to do with the lack of meat in my system. June 1, I become a vegetarian. Goodness, at least I can still eat eggs and dairy products. I really dig egg salad sandwiches. This entry is going from bad to worse every second. Anyways...Chicago. That's where I want to be. I've always wanted to go there. So I am. That is that. My hair is growing in brown. I miss the black already. I miss the brown. So I guess the best of both worlds. I am a hypocrite.
Indie boys rock my world. I miss 4.1.
Grrr. Hello Hello Everyone's. Yesterday was one of the most fabulous days of my entire 20 years of living. Just because things worked out, and I love when things work out. I am trying to make it a point to update this as much as possible. We all know that with the arrival of summer this is not gonna happen much cause, alas, there is no interent connection in my household. I do, however, have access to the internet from my Dad's work. HOORAY! Alright, now to the fabulous day story...sorry, sorry...I get off on tangents.
Here we go:
We all know I've been lusting after this cutie Indie boy. He's an MOC boy, but that's besides the point. And no I will not tell you who he is on there. So don't ask. He's adorable. 6 foot with red hair and is skinny. He dresses so cutely. I can't really say more about his appearance other than to point out that for a redhead he has brown eyes instead of blue. :-( Very sad, but I still like they boy. So I'd been freaking out. I thought wow me and mr. indie are never gonna hang out ever, but that was the simply not the truth. I brought it up after much frustration and aggravation in my tummy. He said, "Yup. Either this weekend or I could swing something today, but I'm not at my freshest." Hehehe. I snagged the boy for today. I mean yesterday. May 1. (Also, my mommies birthday)...wow...this entry is all stream of consciousness like...hmmm....anyways, I met him at the T stop and we had a wonderful time. He came at 8 and I think there was a time I he wanted to kiss me but I was so nervous that I wouldn't shut up. I am always super confident around guys. I wanted to kiss. I really really wanted to. But my nervousness was so extreme. I don't know what's wrong with me. So, I mean when he collapsed on my bed, which was hilarious...yah, I had some naughty thoughts. Hehehehe. He brushed his hand lightly against mine. He is so wonderful. I dragged him to an Emeson comedy thing, The Girly Project. It was so good. He laughed and we held hands for a bit. He kept calling me cute. My nervousness. My skirt. Everything. I made him this cd with like some good songs on it, but you know I don't know still. I gave him a hug outside of the T stop and he liked gave me this one handed tight squeeze and I couldn't tell if that was bad or good. It was a good hug cause it was tight, but maybe I forced that I him. Who knows? It was definately a good hug. Tight hugs are wonderful. I sorta want to just hang out and talk with him. So far our dates have just been going to places that don't really let us talk, which is fun, but not as fun as talking to him is. He's awesome with a capital *A*! I just think that I can't let him get away. I must keep seeing him over and over. He's that great. I want that kiss dammit. COME BACK HERE!
Listen to the Toadies or die! Normally, I would have a link up, but The Toadies broke up. I didn't even know that. I thought they had a new CD. I don't know, but the old site doesn't work or anything. Sorry, but the name of their CD is Rubberneck. It just kix ass. Go get it now!