So today is a big day. I have my date with Derek. There a few words to describe how excited I am about it. I will steal one from him that he uses frequently online: Righteous. It shall be righteous. I am also starting to feel the effects of the butterflies in my stomach and it's 10 hours until the date. This is truly insane. I just know that if I don't kiss the boy this time I'm gonna go insane. I'm not sure why I am making such a big deal out of it. I just want him. That sounds wrong, but I guess it's true. The boy is magnificent. Compliments get boring after awhile. A nice insult is good everyonce and awhile. Obviously, they are not good all the time. They help one maintain one's ego. At Emerson you can see everyone's ego flying around above their heads like a fucking balloon. They are that big. Each person has their own personal blimp way above their heads. Some of us have rain clouds. I have one of those. I am mopey. I mean when I'm up, I'm up. I'm high on life and no one can bring me down. But my downs suck like all hell. I'm also just not fun to be around then, but I mean who is. No one likes sad people. Well, goth people do I guess. I mean goths are sad. Hmm, they are just a big dramatic. I like goth kids. I am in to death. I like Marilyn like the rest of you. Ok, that's a huge sterotype...but I must admit that stereotypes wouldn't exist unless they were somewhat true. It might not be all of you, but a big enough amount to where it has become a stereotype.

It's nice not being labled. I can't even explain what it's like not to have a clique. I think there are a lot of you out there like me that can say they do not feel connected even if you want to be. I wish I was at one point. You can clearly see that in past entries. I was a fucking punk. I was punk as fuck. Or that's what I thought. I just realized recently that I am happy just being myself. I don't want it anymore. I just want to be and to be happy and for animals to be all happy in the common. I'm not asking for World Peace cause that's not gonna happen in my life time.

Let's hold hands and sing camp fire songs played acoustic guitars. Update: Listen to Beulah! 
¶ 10:15 AM |