So things are a little better now. I am less confused at this moment in time. I have talked things out with the soulmate, which was the reason for the confusion in the first place. Over the break, some things happened between us ~ some making out type things that was very nice. I liked it a lot. I thought at one point that I was ready to rush into things, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I want to go slower. I'm scared of messing up and of making a mistake. I want everyone to like me. I liked to feel liked due to my insecure lifestyle at home. It really makes me upset.

I haven't read Shane's journal in a long time. I miss him. I wonder if he still comes and checks on mine. Sorry, it was a long, long break. Too long and too confusing. I cannot juggle two boys right now. One in Boston and one in Dallas. This is just too insane for me. Why do guys like me now? Wasn't I this desirable in high school? I guess not, I don't know what's happened to me, but apparantly it has been for the better because I've been on so many dates recently I feel like I'm going to explode.

I feel like a SLUT!! I shouldn't because I haven't done anything. I have done nothing wrong. I am very upset with my mind and with boys and with my thoughts. I am too confused and this is what I thought would happen once I got here. That things would start going downhill.

I love my friends. I'm glad to be home. ;-) 
¶ 9:35 PM |