I just had the most incredible day. Well, I mean it's still going on...but it's been incredible up to this point. You know when you feel really happy and your smiling cause you are just so damn happy and people can tell you are...so they smile back and look at you weird some times. Then I start to get self-conscience because all these people are looking at me and I've forgotten it's because I'm happy and I start to think maybe I have mustard on my pants in a bad spot or something, but then reality kicks in again and you realize that you just had the most incredible day.

On the walk home...I was really motivated to write and stuff. I didn't have any paper so I had to write on my hand. The thing that motivated me to write was that I was walking past the fancy boutiques on Boylston Street and I saw this cute fluffy white dog in one of those shops. I stopped and the dog saw me and started coming to the window and was happy and then some bitchy woman called it and it went the other way. I had snobby rich people. Oh, god! The dog had little gold bows and actually was wearing a little pearl type necklace thing. That's why I stopped. I wondered if it was real. It was. It made me happy. So I start walking back to my dorm and I'm scribbling on my hand and I see this cute boy and I didn't think he was that cute...but then I really looked at him and he had these beautiful intense eyes. They were blue and just so beautiful. I wanted to stare into them all day. Then I started walking faster and almost running into people cause I was writing all this down in scribbles on my hand. I heard a woman say something about a Chinese bus. I wonder what a Chinese bus is...so I wrote it down so I would never forget it. And I see this boy that goes to my school and he's wearing the most hideous sweater I've ever seen. I wanted to go rip it off him and shoot it. It was just so ugly. Then I remembered that I didn't eat my breakfast of Cinnamon Pop Tarts this morning and that I could have a snack when I got back. Then I started walking even faster and scribbling as much as I could so I would not forget it. Then as I crossed the street to my dorm I saw a really beautiful Asian girl with dyed orangy hair. She was so beautiful. Her face was really pretty. I wanted to be her best friend so I could talk to her all the time. She looked really pretty and trendy and plus I'm 25% Japanese so maybe if she was Japanese we could talk about that together. What's it like for us. I don't know.

In the dining hall, I wrote a letter to this boy I know back home who I sorta want to go out with. He's really my type, but to be quite honest I'm scared to jump into anything. Even though there is a ton of potential, but I'm scared that I can't trust myself. So I wrote this letter. Then I noticed the Hottie was there. He dyed his hair again...it's black and he has this swoosh of blonde in the front. It's kinda cute...but he looked so angry there nibbling by himself. He never looks happy. I feel sorry for him. I don't think he likes life and that's a damn shame. I wrote a poem after I saw him. I will write it down at the end. Then I saw the most perfect boy I've ever seen in my whole life at Emerson. He was emo I think, cause I have no other way to describe him. He had this beautiful brown hair. It was combed. He was very skinny. He looked so sad...but not sad like the Hottie was. Just lonely. I wanted to go sit with him and ask him what was up, but the Hottie was right there and that's kinda how I met the Hottie so I didn't want to do that. Hopefully, I will see him again on Wednesday or next Monday so I can talk to him. He has black converse on. He was so pretty. He was simply gorgeous. I want to know him. We can talk about Dashboard if he really wants to. I don't mind. He probably doesn't listen to Ryan Adams...but who does...I don't anyone my age. Oh, well...their loss. I just loved today so much. I was happy when I went to sleep last night too. I love life. I think things are gonna start changing for me. I am so glad they are.

working title: PuNk FoOd

I am not heard
I am not seen
I am not me
I'm you
with black
maroon sweater
whoosh of blonde
hair
Nibbler
Apathetic male
Argyle socks
lost in daydream
upset
Thriving on bikes
and peanut butter
and combos
and punk
I think I am lost
within you
I am not right
Absense of self
Scarred

~Crushing on Emo boys and wishing for a Beautiful Asian Girl Friend 
¶ 2:42 PM |