So he did it. He convinced me. The Soulmate convinced me that he is a huge creep. I shouldn't print this, because he's going to be ecstatic that I think that. I'm glad that I think that. It helps forget. I cried for half an hour last night. I feel asleep crying, and the worst thing about it was that when I was crying I was thinking about holding him the whole time. I held my little Eeyore instead. I cried so loud that I thought my next door dorm neighbor would come yell at me. I was so upset. I took him off my AIM list. He's not blocked, but I don't want to see his name there at all. I want to think for a bit that he doesn't exist, which is next to impossible. I mean think of the scenerio...I lust over this boy that I thought I would have no chance with. Then I get him for a bit. Then we have a physical relationship. Then he is gone. Just like that. I'm glad that he has who he really wants...not me...yes, the ex. I'm glad that he has her. I am. They deserve each other. I don't even know what that means, it feels like I should just be mean for some reason. I dont' want to be, but what a jerk. Last night, it felt like he just used me for the hormones. I mean, yeah it was great. It was more than great. It was wonderful.

Rock 'N Roll is sexuality personifed. ~Steven Tyler

I can't talk about it anymore. It hurts inside. I want to talk about it, just not right now. Not this soon. I will try to distract myself the best I can. I miss him. NO! See...I will not think about him anymore. DAMN YOU! *flips the bird to the Soulmate and stomps on that stupid hat* 
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