With that said and done, I think one of the saddest realizations that someone can have is that when they realize that someone that once was important is no not important at all. Just a mirage. I once was a lost soul. I mean, this said person was important. I would spend day and night in a lost sea of obsession...haha...if I only knew that it would get nowhere other than in a complete mess and in extreme pain of the heart. That sort of pain is even harder to take than say breaking any bone in your body. Death is even a more comforting thought than realizing that you may be alone for the rest of your life. I have a black heart. Torn to shreds by one single human. I did love him you know. A very pure emotion. But when it comes to thinking of him now, I think of the physicalness we had together. Damn it was hot. And I came to the realization that I am neither an "intense" or "passionate" lover. I like to be gentle. He could really kiss. Unfortunately, he handled my breasts better than he handled my heart. Well, it's just sad. Why am I being so personal here? I know who reads this. I should stop and just roll over and smoke another joint. Unfortunately, I don't do drugs and I don't smoke or drink. Oh, well I will find solice in a nice book and a cup of mocha from Starbucks. Yes, I am corporation. Suck this you uniformed indie punksters. I can't be like you in every aspect. I like Sears goddamit. I'm not gonna change my ways just to be "cool."

I am now trying to be vegetarian. Don't talk me out of it. Fuck you Carnivores! You will rot in Hell while I eat my I eat my steamed vegetables in Heaven. YUM! 
¶ 7:35 PM |