The Hipster Brigade
Sunday, December 08, 2002
 
When I work at least I feel distracted. I hate not having a real job because that leaves my mind to think about the petty and the future. Those two things pretty are sure to bring a person down with a bad case of the worries. Worrying just makes you older. Actually, I wish I could fast forward 7 years and wake up happily married. I seek companionship and I think it's frightening how often I think about how marriage would make me happy. I know that it won't. You can only be happy if you are compatible but I think the thought of marriage doesn't scare me like it use to now. I find it comforting. I just know that I better be damn sure because I don't want to be another divorce statistic.

Ideally, I'm searching for someone to be there. Someone that isn't scare to challenge me. Someone that I feel totally comfortable with at all times. Someone that I can just sit there and stare into their eyes and be content in silence. I'm not one for a lot of adventure. I'm probably as boring as they come. Give me a few lo-fi indie cds and I'm pretty content. Music is important to me and I think it has to be important to who I am wanting to be with. We don't have to like the same things. I want to be able to learn from them. I want to be able to share every single idea that comes in my mind and not be embarassed. I want to be able to talk about what things I've always wanted to do. This person much get along with my mother. They must likes animals. I want to do those things like cook and take care of the house. Not all the time but I think I would find comfort in it. I don't want someone that is never home. I want to be able to spend time together. We should be able to go to shows together. Shows are important. Actually, I'm more interested in how massive your record collection is that how big your...er...yeah is. I want you to be able to share things with me because what's the point otherwise. If we can't be honest than there is no point. I dream a lot and I want to share. Spotaniety is nice. I am like that. I take adventure in small doses. I just am like, "let's go to the zoo." and then we go and spend the whole day there. Carnivals are important too. Those small town carnivals. I love those. Used bookstores. Books are nice. Someone to read next too. I want you to share all the things we read. I want to have book clubs. I want to learn from you and so most importantly, you must be wordly. I like road trips and traveling. Lately, I've had fascinations with the desert. I think because I've never been to one. I think that would give me inspiration as a writer. I want to go to amusement parks. I haven't been to a Disney themed park. I want to go. Hah. That would be a funny honeymoon. Europe. I want to explore Europe. I want to go to Japan. I want to go back to Okinawa. I want to watch a lot of foreign films. I like holding hands in the theater. I want us to take our dog for a walk together. If we don't have a dog...well, I want us to take walks together and night and just sit in the park on the swings and hold hands. I don't wnat someone that thinks they have to impress me. I want someone that thinks on their own but I also someone that likes company. I don't like to be alone. I can be quiet and sit with you but I am someone that likes attention. I like cuddling and holding onto each other. I like public displays of affection. I like people watching. I like making snide comments about how people are dressed in the mall. I like the feeling of getting drunk when it's first settling in. I don't like chocolate. I like strawberry cake. Someone that won't make fun of the braces I want to get when I'm in my mid-twenties. I want to be able to paint your nails. I want someone that tells me when I look good. I want someone that takes compliments and doesn' say sorry all the time. I hate when people apologize for no reason. You must like foods from all around the world, especially thai, japanese, and indian. I go insane without samosas. I like eating out. I like playing footsie under the table. I'm kinky, get over it. I enjoy foreplay but I am deathly afraid of a bad performance. On my part. I'm scared of rejection. I like reassurance (which I'm sure everyone does). I like jello, just generally. I like pudding. Butterscotch. When I get married I want to just have a silver band. I will wear your ring because my parents don't have rings. I think that's really important. I want a lot of photo albums. Taking pictures is a lot of fun. I hate when you travel abroad and you pose for pictures in front of things like the Empire State Building or something like that. I think that's cheesy. I really like hamsters. I really like cats. Yes, pets are important. It must be because I think I mentioned it twice. I am an electic packrat that has a passion for making art projects. I like to change my hair a lot. I really enjoy dancing to loud music aka rocking out. Air guitar is sexy as hell. Hahaha. I think getting tattooed together would be amazing. I don't regret things I've done. I regret things I don't do. You only live once. I like lots of fruit. We should have lots of fruit in the house. Cereal as well. 2% milk. I like to read lots of independent music magazine and cut out the pictures to put up on my walls. Don't get jealous if I have stupid crushes on people like Ryan Adams. Hah...that won't happen. I like clocks. I'm paranoid and I know I have OCD (to some degree). I really like plaid. I like argyle as well. Thrift shopping is an amazing past time. I really like knick knacks and I seem to thrive in clutter though I really like things simple. I have a thing for modern furniture...look in an Ikea catalogue. I love cartoons. I have a thing for comics. I always wanted to collect comic books and read them. I like scary movies but I'm a huge wimp. I have a big imagination and I think I like to make a lot of what most people would seem really eccentric type things up. I'm way out there sometimes. I like history -- the crusades, WWII (though admittedly i got this from my mother), and the French Revolution. I would read more if I had the time. I shouldn't use that as an excuse. I'm really interested in philosophy. I want to be a japanese major.

Alright, this list is gone out of control. I don't know what it means anymore. It's just here and I think I needed to vent. It took me an hour to write. Oh, I'm a pretty passionate person and slightly spur of the moment thinker. I often don't get my point across very well because my brain doesn't work in order. It's jumbled. I don't know why. I have a thing for new wave and the 80s. The Smiths rock my world. Thanks James Iha! Always go with what you know.
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Laying the foundation for grown-up fairy tales since November 2001.

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