lnc is starting to disgust me. i can't believe there is a community of indie elitists. that's so fucking weird to me. i mean yeah i can totally identify but i don't have the look or the intellectual reads going on so they won't let me on the site. that's ridiculous. first off, judging people solely on their appearance is ridiculous. honestly, i can say i've done it. i'm totally guilty of that. BUT, i've also dismissed it too. i've fallen in like with boys that are not necessarily the norm for me. boys that like country and bob dylan and p. diddy. i mean why not? but still, maybe i'm just bitter but it seems we are repressing some old ways of thinking. how is this any different than being racist? we are still judging people. WHO AM I TO SAY ANYTHING...i'm fucking elitist scum too. yeah, i'm a big jerk and i like it.

sean dack.

so many things are happening so quickly right now. things are changing in my head, around me, in my love life. it's pretty safe to say that i'm not in the right frame of mind to make any sort of big decision right now but that can't stop me as i must "hear forth" and battle all these things anyways. ben from embrace today said he'd pick me up a white belt and a cool belt buckle. i hope he keeps his word. i hope we can hang out again. there are so few people that i even like anymore. there's chris. there's jen. there's many and massive others and too many to name here but at the same time it's definatley below 20. chris helps keep my sanity. we are funny, yo.

i'm too tired to articulate a fine piece of prose on this blog. i'll keep you posted. i'm leaving emerson i think. i'll let you know. or you know, if my updates disappear that's why. 
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