i regret:

-meeting some people off the internet (not all, just some)
-fooling around just to get off
-not being honest
-not doing my homework on time
-not sitting next to Hugh at Mat's roller skating party (when i was 11)
-having crushes on lots of boys for no good reason
-giving into consumerism
-being a product of THE MAN
-not knowing what that last statement really meant
-letting other people's words hurt me
-not saying what i really liked because i thought i would be teased
-taking other people's views and making them mine own to be more "deck"

i accept:

-not having a cool haircut
-zits
-smashing pumpkins break-up
-the fact that i am not already famous at 21
-that my poetry probably does suck
-i am not as smart or as cool as i think i am sometimes and that's just dandy
-that some boy bands are good, such as savage garden and bbmak (those are the only two i enjoy)
-not being deck enough
-not being a hipster
-NOT BEING A ROCK STAR in the future
-not being punk as fuck

sigh. does this all matter in the long run? what do i want? what do you want? let's hold hands, ride the T, and figure life all out. i like your eyes. (me: I like the blue of your eyes. Him: I like that blue in your hair.) i'm ready for the long haul, are you? i'm playing it cool. can i hold out? no. i don't play by the rules and that's why i am alone. are you alone too? i'm too afraid to ask. i want to be with you and at the same time keep it a neutral territory situation.

i believe in fate. he already made me a cd. i'm crossing my fingers. BUT, it's only been one day. 
¶ 3:41 PM |