today...it SNOWED. i heard one boy say, "i hope it never stops." today's snow was a cleansing for me. i could feel all the bad things drift away just from looking out the window. it washes the street and it washes me. i want all this to go away and have a nice ending. i want to stop trying to starve to have the perfect hip bones. i am not starving but i think of perfect hip bones. i dream of perfect hip bones. i only date boys with perfect hip bones. i guess if i date a boy with something i want (hmm...i'm sure freud would say something else here.) than in a way i've accomplished my task. isn't it funny how Seventeen Magazine has started printing these articles like: "Am I Emo?" and date the skinny awkward boys in your class and you'll be surprises. That was my territory. Every awkward boy has found a home in my heart. those indie rockers have always hit home within my soul. sigh. it's not even about the looks, it's just that they are nicer people than those jock boys.

i use to live across the street from jock boys. all of them fine specimans. all gorgeous blonde with blue eyes. AMAZING. i had a crush on the skinniest one. he was a wrestler. now, he's into fighting "fight club" style. i heard it from an old neighbor. i guess not all nice boys are nice boys. sigh.

i really want to go undie shopping. i also want the new Nick Hornby Songbook. It's amazing. i saw it in harvard square for $26 but thought i could find it cheaper. they hide it hiding out with the zines at tower. i thought that a bit strange.

what about a haiku chap book? i still want a zine. a zine of haiku. hmm...i'll start working on a grand japanese title for it now. i'm sure my mom will help me think of one.

eyes lock and our feet shake. hidden elcove with hand grips. i stare into your eyes hoping to stir within you something more for a stranger. you so gorgeous i can barely look. perfect eyes. perfect hair. perfect height. perfect hands. fingers. wrists. if i could have had more than eye sex with you that day, i would have. 
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