Prom?

it really did start innocently. a casual hello, how are you turned into T rides and overnights and raw soup and bagels. and when i think about you each time, i remember something different. one more funny thing that i forgot to mention. and when i look into your eyes and smile and laugh because you make me that nervous and dream about our first time. your first time. i remember that we've shared a bed but nothing more than our heads touched. somehow i think that when we kiss my lips will tingle like menthol cigarettes. that when i back away and breath out, smoke will fill the room. and our hands will touch and from that moment on they will cease not to be touching. we have to hold onto something or else it goes away. tight. our fingers like sand between your toes at the beach. each grain different from the next. sweet ooze and liquid sensation. stiff. i can tell you are turned on just by the way you shake your leg at me. i trace mental outlines of your back and lick that spot right below your ear. your hair reminding me of unwashed dogs with slick oil spill coats. your smell i inhale like the last time. the only way you are dirty is if i make you out to be. then you push me awake. and i push back. eyes meeting again and again but i always forget to really look inside. are you really that naive?

this is not a choice.  
¶ 3:06 PM |