invisible monster

this summer i've been waiting to go back to boston. i left boston only to go back. i couldn't wait to get back on the plane. the plane out of nowheresville, texas.

my misanthropic ways got in the way of working, but the game where i ignore all my co-workers doesn't work. they smile and i crack under pressure.

all the places that were supposed to feel like home felt brand new. everyone saying hi to me felt like strangers.

"Diana, please come to this party?"
"Do I know you?"

"Diana, how has Emerson been?"
"Excuse me?"

no one seemed to catch on that something was wrong inside me. that slowly i was starting not to care. that nights became friends and mornings became enemies. the months some big count down till the ball drops and it either crushes me or sends me to some place i'll recognize.

i try to think of a reason to stay here. i can't think of any but i can't move. i just suffocate under the sheets.

i hang out 5 times this summer with people who are supposed to be my friends. i barely recognize their faces. i don't really want to.

why am i more excited to hang out with someone i haven't even met? maybe because there's still promise. 
¶ 11:08 PM |