Monday, August 11, 2003
that strage girl
i have seven tic tacs in my mouth at once. white peppermint. they lay on my tongue. i can feel the burn from the peppermint. i'm petting the cat and looking at the full moon. i keep thinking this is a "crime watch" neighborhood, someone is going to call the cops. i keep pacing and the cat is following me up and down the sidewalk. i see 1...2...3 cars pass. none are his. he is hopelessly lost and i start to turn around to go back inside. i keep giving him five more minutes. five more minutes. i tap my toe. five more minutes.
then two cars come up. two. one keeps going as i smile through the window. it's not him. one turns in front of my house. i see his mohawk before i see him. i jump in the car, just as a cop car goes past. my heart stops. the cop car doesn't. i breath easy. i spit out my last tic tac in the front yard.
"so like, do you have something?" he smiles that grin. he gives me the face. i know it. i know it too well. his windshield is broken and i'm thinking that maybe this is a bad idea. "let's go to a convenience store."
we pull into a gas station parking lot and loop around like we own the joint. there is man on his cell phone. there are two cars getting gas. it's 2:30 am and all the rapists are out. the store is closed. i feel a little bit better.
"let's go to the library." i have the key. the key to the city's library. we keep laughing and i keep saying, "umm...yeah" and "mm hmm." it's not like i haven't known him for seven years. i have. i know his face. i know his looks. he gives me one.
__________________________________________
i stop and he looks at me. "i was just thinking you're a strange girl." i nod. i am. i just snuck out of the house at 2:30am. i think about someone else as he kisses my neck. "you said you were hanging out with alvaro? i hate alvaro." and i do. and he just looks at me again.
we trade places. we trade glances. when it's over. when he has to go home because he knows his parents are awake and worrying about him. because he's paranoid. because i'm not. it always works like that. he says, "you never look in my eyes." then i stare and he stares. "i just noticed, you have pretty eyes." and he says, "yeah, you too." i nod.
_________________________________________
i can't taste the tic tacs anymore.
¶ 5:59 AM
|
i have seven tic tacs in my mouth at once. white peppermint. they lay on my tongue. i can feel the burn from the peppermint. i'm petting the cat and looking at the full moon. i keep thinking this is a "crime watch" neighborhood, someone is going to call the cops. i keep pacing and the cat is following me up and down the sidewalk. i see 1...2...3 cars pass. none are his. he is hopelessly lost and i start to turn around to go back inside. i keep giving him five more minutes. five more minutes. i tap my toe. five more minutes.
then two cars come up. two. one keeps going as i smile through the window. it's not him. one turns in front of my house. i see his mohawk before i see him. i jump in the car, just as a cop car goes past. my heart stops. the cop car doesn't. i breath easy. i spit out my last tic tac in the front yard.
"so like, do you have something?" he smiles that grin. he gives me the face. i know it. i know it too well. his windshield is broken and i'm thinking that maybe this is a bad idea. "let's go to a convenience store."
we pull into a gas station parking lot and loop around like we own the joint. there is man on his cell phone. there are two cars getting gas. it's 2:30 am and all the rapists are out. the store is closed. i feel a little bit better.
"let's go to the library." i have the key. the key to the city's library. we keep laughing and i keep saying, "umm...yeah" and "mm hmm." it's not like i haven't known him for seven years. i have. i know his face. i know his looks. he gives me one.
__________________________________________
i stop and he looks at me. "i was just thinking you're a strange girl." i nod. i am. i just snuck out of the house at 2:30am. i think about someone else as he kisses my neck. "you said you were hanging out with alvaro? i hate alvaro." and i do. and he just looks at me again.
we trade places. we trade glances. when it's over. when he has to go home because he knows his parents are awake and worrying about him. because he's paranoid. because i'm not. it always works like that. he says, "you never look in my eyes." then i stare and he stares. "i just noticed, you have pretty eyes." and he says, "yeah, you too." i nod.
_________________________________________
i can't taste the tic tacs anymore.
¶ 5:59 AM
|
