"you're so vain. you probably think this song is about you."

sometimes when i'm speaking with someone i become formless. not formless like a puddle, formless in the sense that i can't tell i'm alive and breathing. i realize i'm moving and talking, but i can't sense my being. i forget what my face looks like. i look down at my hands and feet to make sure they are still there. i'm sure it's this affliction that makes me look into mirrors all the time. i need to know i'm still alive.

there's a mirror by the elevator that i peer into while waiting. i fix my hair and touch my face. sometimes it's hard to realize something exists unless you touch it to make sure it's real. or still there.

i'm not a ghost yet. 
¶ 10:10 PM |