i can't remember the last time i thought about myself so much

watching a disturbing movie in the company of 17 other people is a bit uncomfortable. around the room people are wiping the corners of their eyes or are concentrating on the floor instead of what's on the screen. i like to watch the faces of the people around me as much as i like to watch the movie. it gives me a sense of what i'm supposed to be feeling.

which is sad.

after class is over, we just leave. "i'll see you next tuesday." blank. there is almost nothing to say after you see dysfunction quite like that. i almost don't know what to say. i want to talk about it but instead it just goes around in circles in my head. i keep thinking of the girl who wrote obsessively in her book. that's what they called it. Grace's book. and when her alcoholic father grabs it out of her hand's and tears it in two. that's the part where i want to cry the most.

that's the part of the movie that makes me say, "that's it," and i walk out, at least, in my head i do.

 
¶ 2:58 PM |