not quite as imagined
disclaimor: i am very unhappy with this blog. it can suck it. also, present tense, past scenario.
he gets lost on the way to my house. he calls me and i tell him to look for the O'Reilly's and the William's Chicken. to take a turn past the alley and that my house is at the top of the hill. i tell him what i am wearing (skirt and knee highs) and he tells me he is excited.
his hand is on my thigh the whole way there. i'm sure he can tell how wet i am, but he never moves his hand. we listen to finch, who he tells me are going to be huge soon. huge, he says. my ears are ringing and everything he says sounds like whispers. all i want to do is get back to his apartment, and all he wants to do is eat indian food. he feeds me mater paneer and poori bread. i smile across the table at him.
"do you mind if i smoke?" i always thought that people smoked after good sex. he likes to smoke after a really good meal. i don't mind. he blows the smoke out of the window. i think it's sexy.
he keeps giving me pieces of gum. we chew in unity. we're sitting outside his apartment chewing gum. i want inside. i want him inside me.
he kisses me as soon as we get to the door, i could still taste the smoke on his breath. and when he kisses, he kisses hard. deep kisses that i couldn't ever find a way of escaping. he pins me on the couch and i just let him. i want him too. he pulls my hair and pushes me away. i climb on his lap wanting more. i spread my legs without realizing i am inviting him to touch me. it's hard to hide what you want. your pussy doesn't hide anything.
his neighbor knocks on the door and i pretend i'm not naked, cold, hiding under a blanket. he gives us beer and talks about vin diesel. i want him to leave but he plays nice and talks him out the door by nodding his head and saying thank you thank you thank you.
it's cold this time of year in texas, forties. he makes a fire. and by makes a fire, i mean he turns a knob and a fake flame appears over some pretend logs. it's still nice.
"let's get close. body heat."
then we're back at it. it is kissing, where i can feel his tongue ring tap against my teeth but just barely. it's his hands on my breasts. it's him licking a trail down my neck towards my belly button and not stopping where i think he will and he tongues at my clit.
i don't know the exact moment when it happened. when i lost it and just let him. when i asked him to fuck me. when he does -- i tell him he has to stop. when i whispered in his ear that i didn't really mean it.
when he drove me home again, his hand went right back on my thigh. still hot from what i'd just done. i was throbbing and empty. and i remember thinking, i want you back inside me.
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