you give me an ulcer in a good way

when i think of you. when i think of us. even though there is no us and it's just a metaphor in my head. i always think of being in bed with you. not sexually. just lightly touching arms and staring at the ceiling, maybe there are glow in the dark star stickers. and we talk. about robots. and cats. you'll ask me some hard thinking question where i'll hmm outloud and close my eyes and turn away. there will be music. something you picked out. i get too nervous to pick out music. something quiet. i think lying there listening to quiet music would be the best part.

then we'd probably draw some pictures with crayons and markers. and hang them up on the fridge with ABC magnets.

then we'd go out for a walk. i'd bring an umbrella but i know it wouldn't rain. then we could duel in the neighbor's lawn. umbrella vs. big moldy stick. i would win. but then because it's fall, you'd sneak up behind me and dump crinkly orange leaves down my shirt. and i'd laugh. and curse the day you were born.

i think right around here we'd notice we didn't eat a thing all day. so we would either eat pizza or fruit. maybe we could eat the fruit with toothpicks and pretend we are at some kind of fancy party. that would also require making alcoholic drinks with umbrellas just for fun. but we probably wouldn't have anything to make those, so we could drink beer out of the can with umbrellas. yeah, that's class.

i think fancy pants would make a great name for a cat, especially a persian. i'd say out of nowhere. your reaction would amuse me, i'm sure.

then we'd take a nap. together.

and this is how a really great day would go in my head.

sometimes i pray to buddha or allah or god -- that you will go away or stop talking to me or both. i find you the single most fascinating/frustrating person on the planet.

oh, and sometimes i just think about making out. but whatever. 
¶ 3:20 PM |