in response to sabrina and janice's posts on "why we kick so much more ass than all of your previous and current girlfriends."

honestly, i have found the best way to attract the opposite sex is by knowing an obnoxious amount of music. all kinds. which means i am constantly reading pretentious indie rock magazines. the glossies and the underground. i don't eat meat, thus i'm a cheap date. also, vegetarians taste better. i won't step near anyone that is obsessed with sports. not my style. but i can be found cheering on certain NHL hockey teams during the right season and i like watching the World Cup. i like talking about vintage cars. i talk a lot but i know when to shut up, which means good conversation. also, i'm funny. i will probably write about you, nicely at first. thus, immortalizing you forever. maybe in haiku form. i know you'd like that. i will buy you gifts and expect nothing in return, other than sex and thoughtful gestures. and if nothing else, i am asian and will fulfill your schoolgirl fetish. librarian fetish? no problem. i have the keys. and the glasses. and if nothing else, i give good head and enjoy it.

 
¶ 6:25 PM |