reasons i might hate the internet

my junior year of high school my best friend moved away. actually, my best friend was taken away. nicole was sixteen years old and she moved out of her house to a new state, tennessee, with a 27 year old man she had met in a mIRC chatroom, john rich. he told her he loved her. and i told her that i loved her and wanted her to stay. i asked her about college. about finishing high school. about learning to drive together. about our plans to marry brothers. i told her that if he really loved her, that he would wait till she was 18. she refused the apartment that would get her out of her troubled home that my mom was willing to rent for us. she just left. me. everything. behind.

that was six years ago. october 1998. i have not seen her since.

she used to call me. write me emails. she got married on new year's eve of 1998 with her mother's consent in a courtroom in dallas, texas. she did not invite me. she had a child of march of 1999. a little girl. i don't even know her name.

i have a friend that has seen her a few times. random run-ins. he keeps "losing" her phone number. i don't really want to talk to her, but i'd like to see her. maybe through two-way glass. i want to see how she has changed.

my freshman year of college she called my home. i was in boston. my mom "lost" her phone number.

i think about her around this time of year. i think about my promise to myself to never meet anyone off the internet. i think about how many people i have met. i think about how i haven't run off and gotten married to a single one of them.

not yet. 
¶ 11:06 PM |