so if you're lonely//you know i'm here waiting for you: written in unnecessary prose-poetry format

i admit it could have been awkward.
i thought it was going to be awkward.
it was not awkward.

it's not a like a first kiss
losing your virginity in the back seat of a volvo wagon
or telling your crush that yes, you do lust him

it was death.
recounted in countless songs
suggested on mere whims by the miserable
taken to the extreme everyday
here, a serious matter
that no one wants to face alone
even if she was a great-grandmother

maybe it was selfish the reason i wanted to go:
i didn't want to be here by myself
and there aren't that many weekends left before i leave to go what seems like a million miles away.
i wanted to go
and there was no hesitation (perhaps just a bit) when i said yes
he wanted me there
and i wanted to be there

all the warnings were unnecessary
i felt right at home
especially with a (bitchy) sabrina cat
and a (vicious) muffin kitty
at my feet
and in my lap

even in the face of a thousand and one relatives
all new faces
there was no want to abandon the situation
and go live up in my head for the weekend
i never once felt out of place
even in a room with a deer head trophy
and the singled out herbivore

i didn't think about one responsibility
perhaps fatal
but necessary
in these hectic last weeks
of deadlines 
¶ 3:24 PM |