life at home

i cannot stand being here.
here in desoto, texas.
nothing, texas.
nowheresville.

my grandma has her eye on me.
she watches every move i make
and thus, i spend extra minutes
everyday
backtracking every move i make
making sure to cover up tracks
she may erase or change in the morning.

it's not unusual to wake up
to an entirely different house layout
she's like that.
insane.

i like small corners
and tiny tables.

i need to unclutter everything
because i'm scared of losing anything
and if i'm the one throwing it away
then i know it's in a same place

i lost a fresh spiral notebook
yesterday at the airport
no one's turned it in
a maroon notebook
with my words and handwriting
hidden inside

and somehow i feel like a tiny
piece of me is gone now
and it's going to be so much
harder to reclaim it

tomorrow, i start again
with a new notebook.

and a new pen. 
¶ 7:39 PM |