the big headache

it started off as a small idea. something someone comes up with on a bike ride by themselves or maybe in the shower. one of those light bulb ideas that might turn into something later. it was like the first line of a poem or the second sentence of a short story. i never knew it would consume me. swallow my every thought and fight fight fight to be won.

well, it took me awhile to even give in to the idea. the concept. the "what ifs" were pretty huge, not to mention serious and perhaps life damaging. but i shrugged my shoulders and said, "eh, why not?"

i could share an apartment with my boyfriend.

but now every conversation is about it. will my mother agree? do i agree? well, mom doesn't make up my mind anymore and i've finally made up my own. the only glitch other than getting over the nervousness of a new situation is: MOM HAS TO PAY.

emerson college has stolen my funds and there is nothing left.

but after today, the last straw. my mother and i with raised voices came to a conclusion. which is yes.

one big fucking yes.

i say it every school year, but i think this is going to be a good one. the best one. i owe my mom a report of A's and a place on the Dean's List. even if i have to hire my boyfriend to help me do it. 
¶ 2:43 AM |