Tuesday, July 20, 2004
considering a bath at 2am
i haven't been in the mood for anything lately. it could just be the montly blues that will wash away in a few days or maybe i need to up the dosage on my lexapro. i can't decide. i'm aching for boston and vegetarian chili dogs. there's something that really makes me feel at home when i eat at Sonic and my sister and i gross each other out with multiple colored tongues from icy slush drinks.
it hasn't felt like summer for a long time.
i'm starting to realize that i don't know how to say no, and that i'm terrible at making decisions because i hate hurting anyone's feelings. i'm going to have to get over that or end up with slashed wrists in the bathtub. not really. just imaginary mascara running down my cheeks.
i just want everyone to know that i'm alive. i'm okay. and that summer is just starting to feel like summer despite cloudless skies and soaring tempatures. at least i have escaped (almost) with just one bad sunburn around my shoulders.
i'm breaking out again. again! i don't think my body likes me being confident. it's like, "hey, you are ugly. you know it." then i stick some noxzema on my face and everything is okay for another month. please let's not talk doctors, it only confirms the fact that i'm not perfect. and i already know that.
the best part about last week was that i sent out 7 letters and packages in the mail. they should be coming soon to a mailbox near you. i think that's my favorite part of the ebay experience. the part where the mail is on your front step and you are beaming because you care more about the fact you got mail than what is actually inside. or maybe that's just me.
my computer is on mute. that suggests insanity.
everyone is asleep. the people that matter. the adults. the pets. my sister and i are awake but apart and i'm wondering if she'll let me sleep at the foot of her bed. i doubt it.
i want a new nightgown.
i want a lomo actionsampler.
i need a haircut!
i'm going to take a bath and than snuggle with my oswald plush toy. i can smell your jealousy.
¶ 3:21 AM
|
i haven't been in the mood for anything lately. it could just be the montly blues that will wash away in a few days or maybe i need to up the dosage on my lexapro. i can't decide. i'm aching for boston and vegetarian chili dogs. there's something that really makes me feel at home when i eat at Sonic and my sister and i gross each other out with multiple colored tongues from icy slush drinks.
it hasn't felt like summer for a long time.
i'm starting to realize that i don't know how to say no, and that i'm terrible at making decisions because i hate hurting anyone's feelings. i'm going to have to get over that or end up with slashed wrists in the bathtub. not really. just imaginary mascara running down my cheeks.
i just want everyone to know that i'm alive. i'm okay. and that summer is just starting to feel like summer despite cloudless skies and soaring tempatures. at least i have escaped (almost) with just one bad sunburn around my shoulders.
i'm breaking out again. again! i don't think my body likes me being confident. it's like, "hey, you are ugly. you know it." then i stick some noxzema on my face and everything is okay for another month. please let's not talk doctors, it only confirms the fact that i'm not perfect. and i already know that.
the best part about last week was that i sent out 7 letters and packages in the mail. they should be coming soon to a mailbox near you. i think that's my favorite part of the ebay experience. the part where the mail is on your front step and you are beaming because you care more about the fact you got mail than what is actually inside. or maybe that's just me.
my computer is on mute. that suggests insanity.
everyone is asleep. the people that matter. the adults. the pets. my sister and i are awake but apart and i'm wondering if she'll let me sleep at the foot of her bed. i doubt it.
i want a new nightgown.
i want a lomo actionsampler.
i need a haircut!
i'm going to take a bath and than snuggle with my oswald plush toy. i can smell your jealousy.
¶ 3:21 AM
|
