Saturday, July 24, 2004
i am always looking up for answers
i thought i would never see stars again, except last night everything cleared away and there was a new moon and tiny specks in the sky. i wanted to be holding his hand instead of being yanked by a dog on a leash. no matter, it was beautiful.
you can't take polaroids of the moon. it comes out like a tiny white dot.
the clouds were teasing me, hiding away in the blue blueness of the ever expanding sky, but they too returned and it was nice to say hello after their absense.
polaroids of clouds look like soft cotton spaceships.
it's been three days without medication and i'm losing my health insurance and there needs to be a change in dosage and my doctor picks now for a vacation. so i had to refill for just a regular dosage and now we'll see what happens.
sometimes i forget what an orgasm feels like and how it spreads throughout my thighs and slowly up my spine. then everything goes away and i think of fingers and lips that aren't here.
for once, i don't want to learn how to play an instrument. i'm content being a groupie. everyone needs a good groupie. i'm not trying to make anything better than anyone else, and if i were, it would be in writing because i hate almost everything i read. my mom said to me, "maybe you are too good of a writer and you should dumb it down a bit." ha! i'm just a pretentious bastard. yes.
i don't feel like writing in an order that makes sense to the common person.
i can't stop listening to bright eyes, but i have to listen to pink floyd before my boyfriend disowns me and i have to move my geisha ass to a new boy. i think i would lie before that happened.
i used to update everyday and have lots of readers and than i started only writing about things in the past. well, i'm trying to move on and you see what happens? there is nothing to write.
it feel through. no apartment. one more year living alone in a crowded brownstone dormitory within walking distance to my boyfriend's apartment in beacon hill. i'm glad that one of us is going to be happy. kitty or no kitty.
i need a new umbrella and there needs to some rain.
¶ 2:38 AM
|
i thought i would never see stars again, except last night everything cleared away and there was a new moon and tiny specks in the sky. i wanted to be holding his hand instead of being yanked by a dog on a leash. no matter, it was beautiful.
you can't take polaroids of the moon. it comes out like a tiny white dot.
the clouds were teasing me, hiding away in the blue blueness of the ever expanding sky, but they too returned and it was nice to say hello after their absense.
polaroids of clouds look like soft cotton spaceships.
it's been three days without medication and i'm losing my health insurance and there needs to be a change in dosage and my doctor picks now for a vacation. so i had to refill for just a regular dosage and now we'll see what happens.
sometimes i forget what an orgasm feels like and how it spreads throughout my thighs and slowly up my spine. then everything goes away and i think of fingers and lips that aren't here.
for once, i don't want to learn how to play an instrument. i'm content being a groupie. everyone needs a good groupie. i'm not trying to make anything better than anyone else, and if i were, it would be in writing because i hate almost everything i read. my mom said to me, "maybe you are too good of a writer and you should dumb it down a bit." ha! i'm just a pretentious bastard. yes.
i don't feel like writing in an order that makes sense to the common person.
i can't stop listening to bright eyes, but i have to listen to pink floyd before my boyfriend disowns me and i have to move my geisha ass to a new boy. i think i would lie before that happened.
i used to update everyday and have lots of readers and than i started only writing about things in the past. well, i'm trying to move on and you see what happens? there is nothing to write.
it feel through. no apartment. one more year living alone in a crowded brownstone dormitory within walking distance to my boyfriend's apartment in beacon hill. i'm glad that one of us is going to be happy. kitty or no kitty.
i need a new umbrella and there needs to some rain.
¶ 2:38 AM
|
