this is mostly about clouds

the sky is taunting me with its clouds again. another fucking wonderful day in desoto. why can't the clouds be like this when i have polaroid film? can one be a professional photographer of clouds? i bet they never complain and they are great at modeling. oh, those soft shapes colliding with one another. very friendly. although, tempermental if the temperature drops or there's too much moisture in the air.

enough about clouds.

the pictures have come back from the photo place, and i swear it's hardly just clouds and shots of my feet. the one picture i wish i had never taken was the one at dachau. i'm glad i wasn't merrily snapping pictures of the camps, and aimed at the place with the biggest cloud right over the museum part of it. even if the camps are replicas the place is just sad. even the clouds are longer and leaner there.

every second i spend outside i'm glancing at the sky. i think i better take a hot air balloon and make a run for it. boston or bust! i can't be bothered with this trivial attempts of this small town life. i haven't had thai iced tea in so long that i've started imagining it in my dreams. i miss warm hands under my skirt, and holding greasy poles on the subway. i'm trying not to be stressed out and i'm remembering to take that tiny pill everyday. that one that saves my sanity.

i can't think in straight lines. i'm all over the place. i have always been this way. my mother is unreachable these days when i need to talk to her about something important she is never around. go figure. i need to here only one yes. one, you can do it. and then the summer will fly by. i can't believe not having a job could be this dull. where is my vacation? where is my fun?

oh, right. i used it up already. 
¶ 6:44 PM |