nothing feels the same

i feel very unhappy. i feel like there's been a house fire and that everything special to me burned up in flames and i'll never get to see it again. my heart is a bit charred and it'll never be quite the same. i'm battling some sort of heartache. it's both emotional and physically and i've felt like i've been dying for the past few days. i feel like any second i might burst out in tears. so far, the count is one on the cry scale, but it seems like it should be a thousand times higher.

i just want to get out of here. i think this house is eating me alive. i can't work. i can't think. i can't read. i only sleep and i barely eat. when i finally step outside the sun feels so good against my skin. even the sweat that pools in my lower back and right under my breasts feels new and welcome.

i feel like i could walk forever and never get tired.

lately, i want everything to end and i don't want anyone to think it a bit strange that i'm a changing person and quite the chameleon. i've decided to stop being nice and be full of sass. i'm a tiny sprite spitfire ugly girl. i'm ready for your lungs, so i can steal your breath. i promise it will be really dirty. 
¶ 3:04 AM |