in bed

what was he thinking when he left this morning? he couldn't trust me alone in such a warm space with such quiet surrounding my every moment -- no tvs on, no music blasting & no streaming sunlight to disturb my sleep. eventually, i knew i'd have to wake up but i also knew that i wasn't going to go to class today. i knew that i was going to get up in the late afternoon and lie around in my pajamas and maybe not eat dinner till really really late and visit the photobooth on my way back home.

i'm wearing the softest pair of tights right now, and it makes me want to forever be in long skirts and button-up blouses. there are days when i'm so in love with being a woman that it's almost sickening. it's like i've caught some girly disease and i can't wait to get pregnant and raise children and bake cookies. then i snap back into reality and i know that those things are a long time in coming and that's okay. it's really really okay. although, i can still bake cookies and dunk them in whole milk.

i've got to remind myself that i'm 23 and i hate to see myself "settling down" but i think that's what i've been craving. i'm so alive right now, and my mind is peaceful. i'm not searching for any new ideas or looking for flaws in the world. i'm in love and that's okay.

i talk about love so much in here that i'm afraid i'm losing my audience. i really can't help talking about love & sex & every changing emotions. i seem so up and down that unless i write it down the second i think it, it might change. i really don't like change. 
¶ 8:32 PM |