Wednesday, October 06, 2004
where does it go?
i have misplaced my time. i feel constantly overwhelmed and i'm slowly losing it. i cannot stop spending money on zines & materials for writing letters. i must stop this habit. i feel like something is missing and i want to buy new sheets, book shelves and storage cubbies in order to fill that empty void. i feel like everything is starting to fit, but as much as i feel like school is "no big deal" -- it still does not feel right at all. i'm still overwhelmed by the tiniest of details.
i skipped counseling this week, which i doubt was a very good idea. i'm also getting my girl parts checked out for the very first time. i have avoided the gynecologist for way too long and it's time to do something about it. i also started taking birth control, because i'm not ready for babies. i don't know if i'll ever be ready for babies, but i think one day, i may want to have children. one day in the long time future.
i went to the photobooth the other day (october 4) in a very long time and my hair is so long now. i have over 40 strips on my wall now and it's this history of my hair and it's strange. i can't decide if i'm just going to let it grow and grow and grow of if i want to chop it off. i think sometimes i just like things the way they used to be and i don't like change very much.
my favorite times lately have been when i'm with my boyfriend. it's just been nice to have him by my side while i do homework and he watches the tv on mute and surfs the internet. i also watched him play video games the other day, and it made me miss super nes very badly and how often i used to use video games as some sort of release from just the daily hardships. i miss that.
i miss my cds very much. i cannot believe i thought i could get through without them here with me. i don't think i'm going to be able to make it much longer without them by my side! please send me mix tapes/cds. i will forever love you!
i'm starting to think of my future apartment with my boyfriend, and how our books will be forced together on the same shelf. there's something about that image that makes me smile. i love the idea of our things together. i think they will live quite happily sharing the same shelf.
i want cloud stamps. & this is all for tonight.
¶ 2:29 AM
|
i have misplaced my time. i feel constantly overwhelmed and i'm slowly losing it. i cannot stop spending money on zines & materials for writing letters. i must stop this habit. i feel like something is missing and i want to buy new sheets, book shelves and storage cubbies in order to fill that empty void. i feel like everything is starting to fit, but as much as i feel like school is "no big deal" -- it still does not feel right at all. i'm still overwhelmed by the tiniest of details.
i skipped counseling this week, which i doubt was a very good idea. i'm also getting my girl parts checked out for the very first time. i have avoided the gynecologist for way too long and it's time to do something about it. i also started taking birth control, because i'm not ready for babies. i don't know if i'll ever be ready for babies, but i think one day, i may want to have children. one day in the long time future.
i went to the photobooth the other day (october 4) in a very long time and my hair is so long now. i have over 40 strips on my wall now and it's this history of my hair and it's strange. i can't decide if i'm just going to let it grow and grow and grow of if i want to chop it off. i think sometimes i just like things the way they used to be and i don't like change very much.
my favorite times lately have been when i'm with my boyfriend. it's just been nice to have him by my side while i do homework and he watches the tv on mute and surfs the internet. i also watched him play video games the other day, and it made me miss super nes very badly and how often i used to use video games as some sort of release from just the daily hardships. i miss that.
i miss my cds very much. i cannot believe i thought i could get through without them here with me. i don't think i'm going to be able to make it much longer without them by my side! please send me mix tapes/cds. i will forever love you!
i'm starting to think of my future apartment with my boyfriend, and how our books will be forced together on the same shelf. there's something about that image that makes me smile. i love the idea of our things together. i think they will live quite happily sharing the same shelf.
i want cloud stamps. & this is all for tonight.
¶ 2:29 AM
|
